Discipline

Self Discipline

Archive for May, 2009

Oh, My Kids Need Guidance…not Me

May 28

Posted by editor in Kids Discipline | No Comments

National TV-turnoff began on April 23rd. I started to notice something: much of these efforts to curtail the influx of media and consumerism is directed at the young minds â?? school-going innocents who need to be protected. What about the adults who curl up in front of the box with impunity and watch with indemnity?

There is a common tendency to perceive the problems associated with the mediaâ??s influence, particularly television and the Internet, as pertinent only to children. We feel compelled to protect our kids and somehow think that we adults are immune. Alternatively, we imagine that adults have lost that special innocence anyway and so it seems there’s nothing left to protect. Weâ??ve been tainted already, so what difference would it make to taint us further?

However you look at it, this notion of non-applicability is a fallacy. Turning a certain age does not grant us a license to slacken and succumb to all the lures that pulse around us. For many, becoming an adult means becoming exempt from discipline as though we have â??served our timeâ? as a child and now its time to â??have fun.â? Children are suffering through basic training and the adults are sitting in the officersâ?? lounge.

Even if your concern is not for yourself and only for your child, bear in mind that the best training children can get is to witness discipline in their parents. Children learn best by osmosis, the unspoken principles exhibited by their parentsâ?? behavior, the way their parents speak, the way they conduct themselves under pressure, how focused they are, how they control themselves, how closely they stick to their goals. Children who are expected to behave in a focused, dignified manner will be confused, at best, by their parentsâ?? unfocused, undignified manner.

But wait, you object. You canâ??t lump kids and adults into the same category. Adults know how to handle the media, sort through the jumble, control themselves, temper the invasion, filter the information, employ common sense andâ?¦. Yeah. Right!

If you read the supermarket tabloids (which you shouldnâ??t) you will find ample evidence to the contrary. It has always amused me, in fact, that from a legal standpoint, when the clock strikes twelve on the eve of our eighteenth birthdays, something magical is supposed to happen. While we might not be expected to turn into pumpkins, we are expected to turn into mature people capable of weathering exposure to indecent material with minimal fallout. A day earlier we were deemed vulnerable and corruptible, and a day later we are deemed â??safeâ?? Of course Nobody qualifies from the school of sexual desire, simply because life is that school, and the only way to qualify, really, is to not have life anymore.

Just because the mind and soul are not visible, does not mean we should ignore all the spiritual junk food and mind clutter we consume on a daily basis. We are surrounded constantly by beckoning images and ideas which promise us the world, and the reality is we cannot sort the truth from the hype – what is good for us and what is in actuality a narcissistic pursuit.

With all the contemporary craziness about physical health, MSG, carbs and exercise, it is a wonder that metaphysical caution is aimed only at the pre-K generation. Will we ever own up to our recalcitrance, or will we continue to pass the baton to the babies?

Yitzchak Goldman
http://www.articlesbase.com/television-articles/oh-my-kids-need-guidancenot-me-138140.html

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Silence Your Mind – Two Practical Techniques

May 28

Posted by editor in Uncategorized | No Comments

When you tell your eyes to close, they close; when you ask your lungs to breath, they breathe. These are natural reflexes that for most people happen without thought or effort. Unfortunately, when you tell your mind to stop thinking, it takes a lot more practice and training to achieve the same response. Whether it is before bed or at work, there will always be times when you need your mind to switch off so you can focus on the task at hand or simply get some rest. This article outlines two practical techniques that I have applied over the years to try and quiet my mind.

When it comes to relaxing the mind, the cause is often the key to the answer, because some techniques work better under different circumstances. So, if silencing your thoughts is a problem you struggle with, I would encourage you as a first step to understand why, and then the answer may become self evident. For that reason, I have tried to talk about each of these techniques within the context of the underlying issue.  

Technique 1 â?? Regain Control of Your Situation

Often, it is during periods of stress that I cannot silence my mind. I frequently find there are too many moving parts and I work myself into a state believing that something will fall through the cracks. Often my internal dialogue becomes focused on a to-do list or starting to mentally complete future activities rather than actually doing them. The end result is a series of scattered thoughts that when pulled apart are neither meaningful nor useful; and hence represent an absolute waste of time and energy.

If you find yourself mentally skipping around and lacking the attention span to do anything well, then a technique that is blatantly obvious, but disintegrates quickly with stress, is to write it down and come back to it later. I am not a natural list keeper but these are the times in my life when I have to become diligent with this practice in order to survive. My preferred approach is to sit down in a focused effort and drain myself of my list. Every little thing that is racing through my mind from feeding the fish through to launching a new business can make it onto the list. The reason being that I can then start to regain my perspective on what needs to done and when, as well as rest assured that nothing will be forgotten.

I then focus on my top priorities. I normally pick two to three things that are the primary source of stress and attempt to progress these. This can be hard because once you are stressed you lose your ability to concentrate. However, with a bit of discipline you will soon become productive again, and suddenly, the weight of worry starts to shift. The same can apply at nighttime except that you only need to decide what you will do in the morning, develop a plan of attack, and then settle yourself down in preparation for a fresh start. That is why it is important to write it all down, so you will not forget anything overnight. 

Technique 2 â?? Shift your focus to your physical state

Like most people, I have had my fair share of personal issues over the years. These are the times that silence seems impossible because you are consumed by distress and worry. For me, these are the hardest thoughts to switch off because they are too important to be silenced and are not easily fixed.

When I am experiencing these periods of distress, I try and use my physical state to give myself some reprieve. I essentially trick my mind into letting go of my personal issues for a little while. This can take many different forms depending on where your interests lie. In my case, I will exercise, clean the house, bake or do the supermarket shopping in order to distract myself. The common thread is that for me all of these activities are not particularly challenging and are rather methodical in nature, as well as requiring some physical effort. When I am in an emotional state, forcing myself to complete activities that are mechanical and require a degree of concentration provides some mental respite.

Whilst this may sound ridiculous, it is not helpful to merely concentrate on your problem and live in your head. By triggering your physical state, you are giving yourself a moment of peace from your thoughts. This will certainly not address the root cause and I would not recommend it for an extended period of time, as then it becomes avoidance, but this technique can be a great way of achieving some temporary calm.

These are just two techniques that have proven useful to me over the years. There are many more available so if you have other ideas you want to share; I would love to hear from you.

Kareene Koh
http://www.articlesbase.com/stress-management-articles/silence-your-mind-two-practical-techniques-615870.html

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Child Education

May 28

Posted by editor in Child Discipline | 5 Comments

The initial state of happiness about an own child is often overcome with annoyance after even a short period of time. Children quickly grow an own personality, and it’s the most vital task of the parents to help develop it and give it a shape. Otherwise, the little angel can turn into a little devil adding considerably to the stress in life you already have.

Like everything else in life, child education is a tightrope walk between strictness and letting loose. Drifting off either way causes more problems than it solves. But of course what sounds clear and obvious in theory is much harder to actually apply practically.

The suggestions here are no rules to follow, they’re mere guidelines and should animate own thoughts and ideas. After all, it’s up to you what you think is best.

1. Discipline

During the first six month of its life, a baby won’t yet be able to understand the connection between “bad behaviour” and punishment. What it really needs during that time is care and loving, to tighten the emotional bounds to its parents.

Nevertheless, even a baby that small is fully capable of repeating actions that lead to a pleasant result. So if any sob makes you appear immediately on the cradle, you’ll find that you have a miniature dictator soon who keeps you up and running with joy.

Between seven and fourteen months, children normally start testing their limits. This results from a growth in both mobility and stubbornness, so what’s being put on test are the parents’ patience with keeping their little ones from exploring, often eating and probably destroying the reachable parts of the household and for how long they can get away with it.

Babies at that age start challenging their parents by stubborn disobedience, but that should not lead to punishment. Be firm and persistent in telling and showing them what they’re not supposed to do, but don’t be rude or harsh. Their concentration usually doesn’t last, so distraction is a great weapon. They still need a lot of love, and your reward will be a happy time with a sometimes annoying, but mostly very cute baby.

Going towards an age of two years, the obstinacy takes often a negative direction: “No” is the preferred answer to all “propositions” ranging from eating and choice of toys to taking a bath and going to sleep.

Discipline can become considerably harder to apply, but is vital to steer the course of your child’s further development. It has to learn that the authority and decision is with the parents. Still, love and forgiveness is of even importance. Especially the father’s role as an authority for the child and support for his wife can make this period a lot easier.

With increasing mobility, skill and curiosity a child between two and three years can keep its mother constantly busy, taking every moment of silence as an indication of a new disaster involving eating things, messing around with things and getting stuck in things.

This can really add to the load of stress parents already have, and the explosive emotional or even physical reaction might ease the moment, but on the long term increases the problem. So be as relaxed as possible and make sure you’ve got all valuable pieces of household equipment properly secured. When children receive a bump or scratch that’s no drama – turning it into one will just make you and your child over-freightened in the future. Still, with all calmness, don’t miss to tell your child when it did wrong and discipline when it’s overdoing it.

In the following years, the focus of education should be on the child’s character and attitudes. The influence of trends, friends and media is strong, and the temptation to try new things is high. At the same time, the control parents have over their children’s activities is reduced, and especially when it comes to trends parents often lack understanding for the things that are “in”.

So even though your child becomes more independent, it’s important that you have time together and show interest in its experiences, interests and problems. Offer to talk about things, but don’t urge. Show understanding and always be there as someone your child can talk to without fear – remember the days when you were in that age, and your feelings at that time.

And, most important: Be a paradigm to your child. You cannot expect it to do something you don’t have the power or courage to do yourself. Respect is nothing that can be taught, but has to be earned, even by parents.

2. Rules of thumb

- Be just!
Don’t expect your child to behave according to rules you haven’t set. Especially young children often can’t distinguish between right and wrong. So even if something is clearly a stupid idea for you, it might seem a brilliant one to it.

- Be firm!
If you give in to your child’s defiant reaction, maybe because you’re just tired of the whole thing, you lose much more than that fight. You give away authority and respect.

- Forgive!
After a confrontation is settled, reassure your child of your love and show that you’re not resentful.

- Don’t ask for the impossible!
No matter what your means of education are like, you can’t expect a child to behave like an adult. Children sometimes behave irresponsibly – that’s built-in.

- Don’t forget the love!
In the end, no matter how much trouble you might have with each other, don’t forget to show that you love your child. And when it comes to decide how to educate, how to reward and how to discipline, listen to your heart what’s the right thing to do.

Brigitte Meier
http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/child-education-74724.html

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How to Find the Best Law School for you

May 26

Posted by editor in School Discipline | 8 Comments

You have spent your undergraduate years preparing for a career in law. Or perhaps you have only recently realized that a legal career is an appealing option. The first and one of the most important decisions you will make on the road to that legal career is choosing a law school. What steps can you take to find the perfect law school for you? Here are some ideas to consider.

One thing you will obviously want to consider is the school’s reputation. A law school with a great reputation can be the difference between a high-powered, high salaried legal position and something much less preferable. However you need to be realistic about your likelihood of getting into and successfully completing the top law programs. Find a good balance between a school with a good reputation and one you are likely to earn a law degree from.

You’ll want to consider the variety of courses offered. You may already know what branch of law you wish to practice, or you may not have the slightest idea. Choose a school which has a curriculum that matches your interests. If you’re not quite sure what those interests are yet, make sure you choose a school that will give you a wide variety of courses and disciplines to choose from.

A vital part of the law school program is the externship. This is where you will get real world legal experience. You want to make sure you are going to attend a school that will afford you the opportunity for you to get a great externship in a legal area that interests you.

Of course, you should do some research into the faculty. What are their reputations? Do they have many publications? A wide body of legal experience to draw from? Are there esteemed faculty members in your area of interest? Do these professors seem like ones you will want to learn from? A school is only as strong as its faculty, so you want to make sure you are comfortable with the faculty of the school you choose.

A good law school has a good law library. You should look into how comprehensive the law library is at the schools you are considering. A visit to the library will give you a good idea about how effectively you will be able to use it to complete your degree.

You will also have to think about physical factors such as location and cost. Are you willing to relocate to go to law school? Are you looking at law schools you can afford? When determining affordability, you also must take into account living expenses if you are going to law school away from home. Remember that even if you get student loans, you will one day be expected to pay them back with interest.

Law school is a sometimes grueling, always educational, transforming experience for most lawyers. Picking the right law school will put you in a position to have the most successful law career possible, whatever discipline of law you choose to practice.

Craig Berger
http://www.articlesbase.com/college-and-university-articles/how-to-find-the-best-law-school-for-you-87788.html

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Discipline, Concentration and Self-control: Vital Attributes of a Martial Arts Expert

May 26

Posted by editor in Positive Discipline | No Comments

The ancient martial arts have always been an aged-old self defense technique that is seen as a novel way of developing both mind and body. Although there are different martial art techniques practiced and promoted today, most of these disciplines generally emphasize attaining above-average levels of self-control, attention, discipline, and concentration. While these important attributes can be attained with any type of martial art form, one should be able to fully possess these positive traits before he or she becomes an all-around and complete martial artist.

One of the main goals of practicing martial arts is to be capable of warding off opponents and ensuring that one defends themselves properly and survive an attack by someone else. An all-around martial arts practitioner needs to attain vital qualities like self-control, full awareness, concentration and alertness to successfully defend themselves against an attack. Aside from achieving physical superiority, it also pays to acquire vital mental attributes that aid in effectively warding off a skilled opponent. According to experienced martial arts instructors, a fearless mind, a moving and spiritually-inclined mind, as well as attaining a mind without ego are the most appropriate mindsets required for attaining success and supremacy. And while these attributes are not easy to acquire, a martial arts practitioner needs to pour his or her full attention, commitment and devotion to the underlining philosophies and practices that embody this fine art of self-defense.

A martial arts student or follower needs to apply the previously-mentioned psychological and physical traits not only when defending oneself, but also to every facet of his or her daily life as well. Because life is seen as a constant battle, we need to stay in constant touch with our inner senses when confronting or solving many concerns or difficulties. Whatever it is you’re encountering or facing, some situations or problems may trigger feelings of anger, anxiety, anguish, frustration, regret and even hopelessness. While experiencing this is a normal occurrence, a martial arts practitioner needs to keep a clear frame of thought, so that he or she can properly plot their moves, and defend themselves in the best and most appropriate manner. It’s a common notion that a martial artist needs to have the mindset like the moon, as he or she needs to have a clear frame of mind to will help him/her keep a closer tab of his opponent’s every move. In addition, a good martial artist also needs to have a mind like water, which necessitates the need to ensure constant calmness when under pressure, allowing the individual to stay focused and not be distracted by personal worries or concerns that may distort or alter their judgments and movements.

Allen Owen
http://www.articlesbase.com/hobbies-articles/discipline-concentration-and-selfcontrol-vital-attributes-of-a-martial-arts-expert-544073.html

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Raising Kids: the Death Spiral Days

May 26

Posted by editor in Kids Discipline | No Comments

by Bette Dowdell

Anybody whoâ??s been around kids knows about death spiral days. Tell me this comes as news, and Iâ??ll say you havenâ??t been paying attention. They happen in the best of families.

And who knows how they start? A day begins like any other day. Everythingâ??s normal. Well, normal for a busy familyâ??different people moving at different speeds, the occasional snarky word, sometimes interrupted by laughter. A normal day in the life.

Then, without noticeable warning, brooding clouds arrive. Whether suddenly as in a squall or slowing building as with a gathering storm, they ruin what had been a relatively sunny day.

Nobodyâ??s happy with anybody else, although nobody can explain why. Things are just wrong. And while the fact is that itâ??s probably nobodyâ??s fault, everybody feels put upon.

Tension grows. Accusatory mutterings start. There they are: The loves of your heart and the joy of your life, ready to go to war. Worse, no warm, fuzzy feelings of love are coursing through you veins, either.

Youâ??re staring into the vortex of the death spiral.

As the parent, itâ??s your duty to get the thing stopped. Yelling will only make things worse. Time-outs will do no more than postpone the inevitable blow up. Discipline doesnâ??t change anything.

You have to bring the sun out again.

Hereâ??s what worked for me. Standing in front of my two sullen, unhappy little squirtsâ??their faces set, challenging me to change their attitudesâ??I put my hands on my hips, set my face to serious mode and asked, â??Do you know what Iâ??m going to do with you?â?

Eyes wide with wonder and concern, they asked, â??What?â?

Breaking into a big grin, I loudly sing-songed, â??I am going to love you and keep you forever!â? I emphasized the last word into a shout of victory. With that, the storm passed. The kids laughed. We all hugged. Then we restarted the day in a better direction.

After that, whenever I spotted a death spiral on the horizon, Iâ??d assume my hands-on-the-hip pose, arrange my face in stern lines and repeat my â??What am I going to do with you?â? line.

It always stopped the negative slide to misery on the proverbial dime. Giddy with excitement that they already knew the right answer, theyâ??d laugh and chorus out, â??Youâ??re going to love us and keep us forever.â?

I would agree, my arms out wide. We didnâ??t have all that many death spiral days, but when they came, we knew what to do.

Kids need to know for absolute certain that nothing they do will make us stop loving them. Thatâ??s their safety, the ground from which they can bloom.

From the minute they arrive, tell your children you love them. And prove it by your actions, even when youâ??re angry enough to spit nickels. Maybe especially then.

And hereâ??s Betteâ??s helpful hint for happiness: Planting the loved-for-sure seed deep when your kids are young makes life a lot easier as they grow.

Being a parent isnâ??t a job for sissies. You have to be a grown-up.

Bette Dowdell
http://www.articlesbase.com/parenting-articles/raising-kids-the-death-spiral-days-339772.html

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Martial Arts: Physical Techniques And Mental Discipline, Part 2

May 26

Posted by editor in Uncategorized | No Comments

Many types of Martial Arts have a colored belt system. Judo was the first type of Martial Arts to adopt this practice. The color of the belt indicates the level of skill the student has. Students have to pass skill tests to move on to learning techniques and moves of the next color. Beginners start with a white belt. In the old days, the white belt was dyed the new color as a rite of passage and honor in Martial Arts. Today the belt is simply replaced with the new color of the skill level. After white, the colors are yellow, orange, green, blue, brown, and black.

While the goal of each student in Martial Arts is self improvement, the belt in some forms of it offers the student a way to display their efforts to the other students. It is also designed to help students engage in fair sparing activities. To respect the culture of Martial Arts, it is important that you wear the belt properly.

Never let a white belt get dingy or dirty. The belt needs to be tied firmly above the hip bones. Make sure it is loose enough to move during your activities but tight enough to stay in place. The ends of the belt hanging on both sides need to be even. This can take time to learn so practice finding the amount of material needed to tie it. Some people place a small market on the inside of the belt to find the location easily. The belt should never be allowed to cross itself in the back. Never let your belt touch the floor.

Having the proper respect for the Martial Arts includes honoring the belt color system. Never wear a belt for a level of skill you have not accomplished. This is considered to be dishonorable. Your instructor will help you learn to tie your belts properly. Enjoy learning about Martial Arts, improving your skills, and proving you are worthy of a higher ranking belt.

Adrian Adams
http://www.articlesbase.com/sports-and-fitness-articles/martial-arts-physical-techniques-and-mental-discipline-part-2-98174.html

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