my son is 4yrs old, and am trying to discipline him but with no results. he is very naughty and basically never listens to me and is very naughty at nursary school too. i don’t know what to do. i also have a baby that is 4 months, so i thought maybe that’s also at fault, he’s not jealous and he’s very good with the baby but i’m wondering if his behaviour is worse nowadays because of the baby, i give him, my older child, a lot of attention, so i don’t know. i also punish him when he’s naughty but he’s not scared of anything. any help would be useful thank you.
We were just about to abandon timeouts for discipline for our 2 ½ year old son. Our pediatrician just gave us some good advice about timeouts that makes sense to me. First, instead of just putting the child in a corner, she suggests an actual timeout chair.
She suggests no long speeches about “no hitting” (or whatever) and not reminding the child why they are in timeout (don’t say “You’re in timeout because you hit Mommy”, etc). The idea is that they experience a complete lack of attention while they are there. If they try to get up, you just wordlessly put them back. Lastly, you don’t say anything to the child about the “crime” once the timeout is complete – just let them out and go back to business as usual. All the normal speeches we would make "Mommy doesn’t like to get hit, you got a time out because you hit, blah, blah, blah" are just another kind of attention and are less effective.
#1 by Greeneyed on August 5th, 2009
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time outs(4-5 minutes because he’s 4)
take things away like t.v. time or some toy he really enjoys, take it away for an afternoon after a verbal warning that if you don’t behave it will be gone.
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#2 by Mr. Taco on August 5th, 2009
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What does your child really like?
Take it away from him. Don’t give it back until he behaves. You take enough away, and he’ll get the picture. Guarantee it.
The key to this is consistency, though. The moment you give in to him, you lose the battle.
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#3 by cold kickin'it carly-fry on August 5th, 2009
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I have started a good behavior chart. It works but you have to reward every couple of days or so since there attention span is about the size of a gnat!!! If that doesn’t work then I have also used a pinch, (if were in a public place and she wont listen) I have a 4 year old too but she is a girl and very naughts. She could care less if she sits in time out, and will hand me her toys when she is bad. the rewarding system seems to be working thus far? Just a suggestion. Good LUCK!
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#4 by brandy conda07 on August 5th, 2009
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ummm,yell@him and if he still doesn’t listen take his prize possessions away until he listens and if that don’t works take his hand and hit it 6 times!(that will work)
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old fashion
#5 by SuperStar on August 5th, 2009
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My daughter is now 19, but when she was 4, I took all of her toys and put them in plastic bags and removed them from the house. She had to earn them back one by one. Her behavour improved and she learned a lesson in responsibility.
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#6 by baddt1999 on August 5th, 2009
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You don’t say how he is naughty. If he is misbehaving at home AND at nursery school I can only assume that you are not using a consistent discipline. Yelling and spanking rarely works. Those behaviors are usually repeated by a four year old to his playmates. If you have tried time out and removal from favorite activities and TV and nothing is working, I would suggest a counselor you can all talk to, one who is familiar with bored children. It really seem to me that he may be a very intelligent little boy and just needs some adjustment in the type of activities/learning materials for his age group. Children who are bored become very demanding for attention and sometimes will ask for help, or say they cannot do something that you know they can. A counselor will evaluate and possibly recommend testing. Even at 4 he may be ready for kindergarten or first grade. My oldest son started kindergarten at 4 and my second was 4 in second grade. You may also like to check into ADHD information.
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Educator, mother of 5, grandmother of 8
#7 by nikki on August 5th, 2009
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try different stuff like time out and also try taking their there toys way
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#8 by racing_girl on August 5th, 2009
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pretend to ignore it he and play with the baby if it gets worse ignore him a all times if you think thats mean try copycat trick if he breaks somethings of your break somethings of his if he doesn’t do what you say try doing the same thing he does
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#9 by eli_star on August 5th, 2009
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We were just about to abandon timeouts for discipline for our 2 ½ year old son. Our pediatrician just gave us some good advice about timeouts that makes sense to me. First, instead of just putting the child in a corner, she suggests an actual timeout chair.
She suggests no long speeches about “no hitting” (or whatever) and not reminding the child why they are in timeout (don’t say “You’re in timeout because you hit Mommy”, etc). The idea is that they experience a complete lack of attention while they are there. If they try to get up, you just wordlessly put them back. Lastly, you don’t say anything to the child about the “crime” once the timeout is complete – just let them out and go back to business as usual. All the normal speeches we would make "Mommy doesn’t like to get hit, you got a time out because you hit, blah, blah, blah" are just another kind of attention and are less effective.
References :