Hey all 
I really need ur help. I don’t know how to discipline my 2 years old twin daughters gently when they are stubborn and don’t listen to me. I don’t want to be harsh and aggressive with them as I want them to be happy toddlers. I feel that I’m making them live an unhappy life because they are very stubborn and i’m giving orders and shouting all the time. I’m so tired of that. I really don’t know what to do! 
#1 by Pepper on December 22nd, 2010
Quote
Count to 3. If they don’t listen, have them sit in the corner (different corners of course), or take away something they like, such as a doll. Then, when they realize that they’ll get a time out (the corner) or something they like taken away, they won’t act up as much.
Good luck with your youngins!
#2 by Dr. B. D. SMote on December 22nd, 2010
Quote
If you’re giving orders and shouting all the time, you are not enforcing what you say the first time. Kids don’t listen to what you say – they listen to what you do. If children are stubborn, it is usually because we, as parents, have inadvertently trained them to be.
Toddlers are pretty easy – except that they’re like the X-Men character Juggernaut. Once they’re IN motion, they’re not going to stop. The trick is to watch them closely enough to learn to judge when they are ABOUT to launch into motion, and stop them just as they begin to start.
Never tell your children to do something more than once. All it teaches your children is that they do not need to do what you told them to do, until you’ve told them 4 times and begin to yell, for instance. Really, repetition merely teaches your children that they do not need to listen the first time, because you’ll tell them again in a minute.
Tell them once in a normal tone of voice. Wait for compliance, then walk over and enforce what you said by gently, but physically making them do it.
Tell them once to put something down or stop touching it. Physically remove it from their hand, or remove them from the object.
Later on, as their language skills get better, tell them once, and then if they don’t react immediately, ask, “What were you told to do?” Then physically intervene if necessary.
Deal with refusal by using time outs – but just one minute per year of age. Time outs are not meant to be punishments – they’re meant to be an opportunity for the child to prove to itself that it can exert self-discipline for the time out period – and to provide a LOTS of opportunities to do this. That is why they are short. If a small child refuses the time out, hold them in it.
Be UTTERLY consistent. Children need consistency in their lives far more than they need you to bend the rules. Ultimately, they’ll be happier if they know that there is no chance of something happening or not happening, than if they know that they can whine endlessly and get you to vary. And you really don’t want to train them to spend time whining all the time.
If you want your children to behave sensibly as they grow up, don’t protect them from the natural consequences of their actions. I don’t mean let them get hurt, of course, but say they toss a ball over the fence and come in to have you retrieve it. DON’T give it back to them: Instead, tell them “You’ll have another chance to play with it properly tomorrow,” and take it in the house. Next time, they won’t throw it over the fence.
When they get old enough to pick up their toys, they, of course, won’t, and there will be toys all over the house. Introducing ” The Saturday Box.”. The Saturday Box is not a punishment – it is the natural consequence of leaving toys out anywhere, say, outside their bedroom or their toybox.
Toys that are left out in the defined area just naturally go to the Saturday Box while children are asleep. They get them back on Saturday morning. You’d be amazed how diligent children can be about picking up their toys.
None of this is going to be easy – and children will resist change. But you’re beginning at two, not seven, so you have a good head start. Remember whatever you put into parenting – whether it is consistency, watchfulness, and saying things once in a calm tone — or ignoring them until they impossible to stop, and telling them everything seven times — is going to come back to you ten-fold.
So put the effort in up front to create well-behaved self-disciplined children, and you’ll have plenty of time to enjoy parenting later.
And always, alway, always remember: Love and respect the CHILD, discipline the BEHAVIOR. Children are NOT naughty. Their behavior is undisciplined. Never discipline in anger, and never withdraw love from the child. Simply enforce consequences for the incorrect behavior.
I highly recommend: http://www.amazon.com/Setting-Limits-Responsible-Independent-Boundaries/dp/0761512128 It is under $5 used on Amazon – just buy it.
.
#3 by Jackie on December 22nd, 2010
Quote
Time outs and silent treatments work wonders! Check out The Successful Child: What Parents Can Do to Help Kids Turn Out Well By William Sears, Martha Sears, Elizabeth Pantley.. They give discipline advice for kids 0-5 and are very gentle, but firm. They are concerned, not just with getting your children to behave, but with helping your child to grow up in a way that is beneficial and not hurtful.
#4 by Jenny Oleson on December 22nd, 2010
Quote
You should probably set up a naughty corner for them. Its basically a time out spot where you send them if they’re being stubborn. Once they do something naughty, tell them they are going to get a time out in the naughty corner for (in your case since it’s double their age) four minutes. Tell them if they get up, you will add a minute. After a while this should work! I use this technique with my three year old and six year old, it works very well. If all else fails, I do spank, but that shouldn’t be necessary with your daughters. Good luck!
#5 by John on December 22nd, 2010
Quote
There are many ways to discipline stubborn toddler. You can adopt positive approach or setting rules. But it is also important to understand the child’s psychology and emotion. For more information visit: http://www.aid-parenting-tips.com/what-is-parenting/can-you-set-rules-and-principles-for-parenting-2/
#6 by nuttercanadian on December 22nd, 2010
Quote
Set boundaries and stick to them.
There doesn’t need to be yelling or shouting, or orders.
You may not jump on the couch it is dangerous. This is your warning. You will be in time out if you do it again..
Then follow through, when they start jumping ,they go in time out. No questions, no negotiations, just calmly put them in time out. The first bit of teaching them does require some patience, but we have beeen putting my son in time out since he was a year. He is a happy little man. He gets time out maybe once a week.