Please help. My 22 month old son does not listen sometimes. I love him so much and I just want him to be good. I dont know how to discipline him. Do you professional mommies know any tips?
No spanking. One “pow-pow” on his butt if his kicks mama during diaperchange or gets into the fridge but I would go beyong a simple light “pow-pow”… But it doesnt work anyways and I always feel guilty.
*if he kicks mama
*** I wouldnt go beyond a “pow-pow”
Im getting some great advice. thank you .. please others… continue
#1 by enterrador on October 29th, 2010
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I don’t have kids so i wouldn’t really know, no hitting for sure. Maybe when he does something wrong just say no, pick em up and hold em till he calms down.
#2 by mthtchr05 on October 29th, 2010
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Spankings are always eye openers.
#3 by rjbw110708 on October 29th, 2010
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depends on what he did that was so bad. he is about old enough that he can tell right from wrong so you can use a timeout thing or give him a tap on the hands or something minor. if you dont start correcting now you might have a problem later.
#4 by lovethebeanie on October 29th, 2010
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Time outs and light taps on the bottom seem to be working for me. I just tell her that I am doing this because I am trying to teach her how to be a good person and to keep her safe.
#5 by LetMEtell&AskYOU on October 29th, 2010
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use positive re-enforecement.. you should reward him stuff if he listens.. but dont yell at him if he doesn’t, just ignore him. do a little step.
for example, ask him to say “mommy, i love you” if he does, give him a candy or something.. then little by little.. he will listen to you
#6 by MeerKatje on October 29th, 2010
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Get into the habit to Praise good behaviour and Ignore unacceptable behaviour as far as possible. Follow through on consequences after a warning for ‘not listening’.
#7 by sshhorty2 on October 29th, 2010
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am not a parent but I saw this on super nanny and my friend tried it out and it worked do a time out chair and the child has to sit in it just for a few minutes but then u explain why he’s there she called it the naughty chair and it was used only when the child was naughty
#8 by momma2mingbu on October 29th, 2010
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Sounds like you have a very normal todder. Please don’t refer to HIM as “good” or “bad” though…it’s his BEHAVIOUR that is either good or bad, not him.
Distraction works really well with young kids. If he is going after something you don’t want him to have, for example, distract him with something else that he can play with.
Redirection also works well. If he wants to climb on the kitchen table, redirect him to something that he CAN climb on.
Some good books on this topic -
The Discipline Book by Dr. Sears
Adventures in Gentle Discipline by Hilary Flower
#9 by a.kranz on October 29th, 2010
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Sit him down in a quiet spot and try to explain in short sentences what they did wrong and show or explain the proper way.
Ex. We do not hit, we give gentle touches. We do not yell, we talk to each other.
A toddler needs lots of reinforcement because they are learning so many things. Re directing will also help, introduce to another activity if they are not happy with the one they are engaged in.
Once in a while a slap on the hand or bottom may work. Keyword is slap not a hard hit. Good luck.
#10 by iam1funnychick on October 29th, 2010
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Find out what his “kryptonite” is…LOL.
For my middle child, it’s money. If she does not listen or does something wrong, she has to pay me. That totally works with her.
For my first chlld, just explaining it out works. She’s an odd duck and thinks very logically.
For my last child, time out works perfectly because he hates being cut off from the rest of the family.
I know it’s so very hard, but be consistant. If he’s doing something he’s not supposed to do, like throwing rocks in the bushes, then tell him to not do that again and if he does, you’ll be going inside. And then if he does (which is probably what will happen), go inside. And explain WHY. Don’t yell..just explain to him that he chose to disobey.
It’s hard to do…because sometimes YOU’LL be the one who misses out on things. But in the long run, and even “medium” run (LOL), it’ll pay off.
#11 by everlastingember on October 29th, 2010
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I’m not a mommy yet, but I raised my mother’s children almost by myself.
Never hit, and try your best not to yell. Firmly tell your child that what they’re doing is wrong and show/explain to them why it is wrong. Take whatever they’re doing wrong away (throwing toys for example). Do not threaten or bribe. You’ve got to show him you’re the boss. (I know it sounds like a puppy tip, but if your kid learns he can walk all over you now, it won’t get any better as he gets older.)
Once my sisters/daughters learned who was the boss, when they did something wrong I would either ask if they knew (if I knew they didn’t know) what they did wrong or (if they knew and did it on purpose) said “try again”. They’d know that they had to rewind their misdeed and do it again the right way. One example, running in the hallway or slamming doors; the youngest would always run up and down, and I’d make her walk normally until she stopped running in the house. Worked quick, she hated wasting time!
Hope that helps, good luck!
#12 by nana4dakids on October 29th, 2010
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I am raising a 23 month old grand daughter and her 33 month old brother. For her time out works but the first few times I had to actually sit on the floor in front of her and keep my hands on her knees to keep her from getting out of the chair. I do 2 minutes for her. For him, the only thing that I have found that works is to send him to his room. Although all of his toys are in there he hates being sent there. He can’t come out until he stops crying and says he will behave. He always cries for a few minutes and then he opens the door and says “I stopped crying and I be good.”
Hope it helps.
#13 by dude on October 29th, 2010
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you gotta nip it in the bud lady you see forget the whack job head shrinkers advice look the toddler to teenager is always looking either for the boundaries or to stretch the boundaries! you not the child must set the boundaries! see you are not their friend your their parent! be the parent! you need to establish boundaries then enforce them! dont break weak cause he/she cries that is a game a manipulation ploy! you gotta take charge before its too late! because when their not 4 but 14 and tell you to kiss their ass their going out tonight what you gonna do then? you gotta train em now then they will be better as a man or woman they gotta learn no means no they cant always get their way life sometimes means doing what you dont want to do. so a light spanking and some firm words will work wonders, look simple advice either you discipline em now or we (the law enforcement community; Policeman, the Correctional Officer ) will. you choose which one!
#14 by DeeDee on October 29th, 2010
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at 22 months they still don’t can’t understand Time Out all that well but this is the time to start… just sit him there and use short phrases and/or words such as “not nice”, “don’t bit”, etc.. but sit down with him at his level… my 2 1/2 year old is just starting to get Time Out.. time out for him right should just be a place where you put him and tell him , you didn’t listen to mommy so sit here.. and you stay with him for about 10 or so seconds without talking and then tell him you love him and give him a hug and tell now we can get up… and as he gets older you can advance with time out… it just takes a lot of patience and be consistent.. he’ll get!!! Good Luck!!
#15 by happybujok on October 29th, 2010
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Most importantly, be consistent. If you say no to something stay firm, don’t change your mind because he is whining and getting on your nerves.
If you have to administer discipline, talk to your child first and let him know why he is being disciplined. Tell him what unacceptable behavior he was practicing.
Time out is great, but make sure that he is not in a place that’s fun to sit (like in a hall way with all of the bedroom doors shut). Set a timer because you don’t want to forget about him. When his time is up, remind him why he was in time out and if he does the behavior again he will have to go to bed or get a spanking or something like that.
If he comes out of time out and goes right back to what he was doing wrong then a spanking is not out of the question. Just make sure you spank as a measure of correction, not out of anger.
The most important thing to remember is that you have to be consistent. What ever behavior will result in discipline today should be the same always. In a very short time he will not practice that particular bad deed and you will be ready to deal with any other corrections and guidance as the need may arise.
#16 by innosint_lil_angel on October 29th, 2010
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I have a 2 year old and I will give her a firm but gentle spank on the bottom when she doesnt listen. For this age time-outs dont work because of their short attention span. If she is touching something dangerous I will smack her hand and say “no!” or “hot!” even if its a sharp object and not really hot. If I catch her scribbling on the wall..its a new thing she loves to do, I take the crayon away and smack her hand and say “no” and direct her to color on paper or a coloring book telling her “you color on paper not the wall”. It works sometimes but the longer I keep enforcing it the more she understands and listens.
#17 by Dazed-n-Confused on October 29th, 2010
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I am a mommy of 2, I have a 6 year old girl and a 16 month old boy. My son doesn’t listen all the time as well. You just have to keep saying NO, and give him a little pat on the Butt or the hand. Don’t be discouraged from spanking. I don’t mean spank him hard or anything but just enough to scare him, and make him think the next time he goes to do it again. Also this is the testing stage, and believe me, this testing stage lasts a LONG LONG time. They stop pushing you with some things and start pushing you with new things. It’s never ending at times.
I know you say you love him so much, and it will hurt you more than him when you spank him, but it will do him good in the long run. And make sure you let him cry after his spanking a few minutes, but ALWAYS comfort him after wards. Hope this can help you in any way. Good Luck!
#18 by lskee_tt on October 29th, 2010
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What ever form of discipline you choose to use the key is consistency and telling him how much you love him. Because the reason you need to use discipline is just that cause you love him so much and want to teach him right from wrong.
It’s so important to separate the child’s worth from their behaviour,it’s the unacceptable behaviour that you hate/don’t like not them.
It’s heart breaking to hear your own child say “mummy when i behave badly do you still love me” you NEVER forget it .
#19 by Elliar on October 29th, 2010
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first of all you have to pick your battles. When it is something that I don’t want my child to do I try talking to him about it. And make sure that you crouch down to their level, and I always make sure that my son keeps eye contact with me. I just think that he understands more if I am at his level. My son just turned 3 and I find that if I sit down and explain to him what he is doing bad then he seems to understand. This has worked for sometime. Another approach that I use is to get his mind off of it. Say that you are trying to change his diaper and he is kicking you, what I would then do is instead of telling him no or spanking him is to maybe tickle his legs. And tell him that the tickle monster will get him if he doesn’t sit still. Make a game out of it. And in no means is this encouraging the behavior. I am not against spanking or giving time-outs, But I’ve read books about discipline and the author suggest getting their mind off of the thing that aren’t allowed to do. At the age your child is in it is usually out of sight… out of mind. and you know children, the more that you tell them NO, the more that they want to. So sometimes reverse psychology works. I hope this helps a little. Good Luck!
#20 by lizziy M on October 29th, 2010
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I have 2 toodlers..I take some things away from them.. She loves watching t.v. so sometimes I take that away for a day. time out always works.. I send them to their rooms for 3 mins.. and they learn their lesson..
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