I’m trying to find the best way to discipline my 2 year old. She’s going through a hitting stage. I’m not sure what is the best way to discipline her. Should I raise my voice to her? Should I just do time out? She hit her older cousin the other day and my husband yelled at her and put her in time out for it. I’m afraid if we yell at her too much she’ll think we dont love her. What’s your opinion?
#1 by Charll on February 5th, 2011
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she wont think you dont love her
its a stage every goes through!
i know i was disciplined my mother raised her voice which was my first warning, and then if i did it again time out.
i know im loved
when shes on time out go up to her and say you must not hit people it can hurt them and give her a kiss and a cuddle and tell her to go play
she will learn
xx
#2 by Ana on February 5th, 2011
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My son is 2 also. this is how i deal with him.
If he hits (anyone) I kneel down to him so we are face to face and tell him in a calm, firm that it is NOT nice to hit and if you carry on you’ll have to go on the naughty step/time out. If he does it again, i go sit him on the naughty step. Go down to his level again and tell him why he is there and that he must stay there for 2mins. then walk away. If he gets off, go put him back there without saying anything. Carry on till he stays there. After two minutes, go to him, tell him why he is there and ask him to say sorry to you or the other person. If he does, give him a kiss and a cuddle. if not he is back on time out.
He does really well and hardly goes in time out because he knows i will follow through with the time out after ive warned him
#3 by Grandma of 2 on February 5th, 2011
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I always used “Attitude adjustment time” which is basically time-out. I made my daughter sit on her bed and then when the situation was calm and quiet…we would discuss what she did wrong and why she had to have an attitude adjustment. You have to realize that your child is only 2. They did not automatically come with the emotional tools necessary to handle every situation presented to them. Therefore….one reaction might be to hit….others might bite, scream, scratch, yell…all kinds of things. Parents need to be the calm in the storm. If you can just think about how much your child has learned it just it’s 2 short years of life…it is amazing. But, we need to calmly and quietly also have them learn proper behavior. You better learn to stay calm and collected at 2…because when she hits the teen years…your are going to need all the patience you can get. Yelling also is more for your satisfaction…it does absolutely nothing to correct the behavior displayed.
#4 by Allison on February 5th, 2011
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My daughter is 2 years old, also. If she hits someone I firmly tell her, “We do NOT hit.” I make sure that I am eye-level with her and I make eye contact with her. I want her to know that I am serious.
#5 by Brahbrah on February 5th, 2011
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She won’t think you don’t love her, but yelling about every ill deed will render yelling ineffective, and will create a negative atmosphere. I think a time out (or isolation in a similar form, such as room confinement) is an ideal punishment for toddler violence. It completely fits the crime, because it sends the message that if she can’t be kind to others, she cannot be with others.
More on yelling:
I care for a very strong-willed three-year-old. He is not easily fazed, but because I do my best to reserve yelling for extreme situations, it can be effective. For example, he recently decided it was fun/funny to unstrap his car seat while we were driving! The first couple of times he did it, I reacted in a panic, saying/somewhat yelling, “Strap yourself in right now! What if we got in an accident?” I was lecturing the whole time as I did my best to pull over safely. He found my reaction very amusing, and I think it empowered him. Finally, I devised a better solution. The third time, although his sister was vehemently “telling on him” and demanding that he strap back in, I remained calm and silent as I pulled over. It took me a minute to get to the side of the road. When I did, I calmly turned around, and then, AFTER I was in a position of power (physically able to strap him in, myself), I changed my demeanor, and said in a loud, angry voice, “YOU MAY *NEVER* DO THAT AGAIN. IF WE HAD AN ACCIDENT YOU WOULD BE *VERY* BADLY HURT. IT WOULD MAKE EVERYONE CRY. MAMA WOULD BE SAD. DADA WOULD BE SAD. KATE [SISTER] WOULD BE SAD, AND I WOULD BE SAD. YOU MAY NEVER DO THAT AGAIN. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?” It worked! He has never done it again. If I yelled like that all the time, though, it probably wouldn’t have. Unfortunately, hitting amongst toddlers is so ubiquitous that, while it must be punished, it cannot be reacted to with such shock every time.
#6 by Tim on February 5th, 2011
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