What is the best way to discipline my toddler daughter? She is almost two years old and very sassy. TImeout doesnt really work cause she wont stay there and she could care less if I swat her on the butt. So what is a good method?
How to discipline a toddler?
#1 by sdt1023 on September 23rd, 2010
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Justmake her feel disappointed in herself
#2 by Ms. Dank on September 23rd, 2010
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teh…
i dont know but when u find out…
let ME know!!
#3 by Anuj on September 23rd, 2010
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give her candy then she will do what you want her to
#4 by Sin on September 23rd, 2010
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Pinch her, not hard, but just enough. Always keep your child happy to the best of your ability. Do not hurt them unless they do something real bad.
#5 by lillilou on September 23rd, 2010
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But I thought spanking was a cure all? Had to add that, as so many post that spanking was a life changing experience for them.
IAs for time outs, if she wont stay there, stay there with her. Then make her verbalize why she was in time out, this will also help her verbal skills.
#6 by boylovers69 on September 23rd, 2010
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swatting her is great, nothing wrong with it but not our of anger or frustration, but as a way of showing her consequences for her actions. along with time out. if you do not get control over her she will be put on meds to slow down once in school. you don’t want that.
#7 by Blondie131 on September 23rd, 2010
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depends on what she is doing wrong.
my 19 month old neighbor likes to act like a devil and sassy as well.
she’ll stand at the top of the stairs and throw toys down. if we say no she throws a tantrum, but if we bring her downstairs it eliminates the problem.
if your daughter is throwing her food, take it away and explain she cant do that, wait a minute then start feeding her urself or give her a little back.
if shes not staying in bed, just keep bringing her back in as many times as it takes.
if shes hitting other kids, separeate them and try to explain no, and to “make nice”
good luck
#8 by lbtrusting on September 23rd, 2010
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Take away her favorite toys- don’t let her watch cartoons-and good luck that’s why it’s called terrible two’s
#9 by Tempest88 on September 23rd, 2010
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You make her take her time outs, and sometiems you will have to hold her in the timeout spot. MAke the time reasonable length but make sure it happens, even if she screams the whole time. Other choice is to put her in her room and keep the door closed, and don’t interact with her for the length of time you have said…10 mins for example.
Also take away immediate rewards…but remember that a toddler doesnt’ remember what they are being punished for hours later. So if you take away a favorite toy right away, then when you return it in 15 mins tell her it is because she was good.
Also reward good behaviors, try to ignore bad ones.
Good luck!
#10 by green_pony72 on September 23rd, 2010
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Welcome to the Terrible Twos. One of the most trying ages for a parent. There is no one real way to disipline a toddler. For some children time out works great. For me I acyually had to take away from my child, and told her she would not get it back untill she listened to me.
Hang in there
#11 by johnny m on September 23rd, 2010
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Hey la la la stand that sweet little kid in the corner !
#12 by peach popsicle on September 23rd, 2010
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The bes thing to do is to put her time out and make her sit there. The rule to this is to make her sit down for ever how many minutes she is old. In your case, she is two so she should be in time out for two minutes. Eventually she will learn that the consequences of being bad are that she will have to sit and time out and will not be able to play. I worked in a daycare teaching two and three year olds and this always seemed to work.
#13 by Dan K on September 23rd, 2010
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I would try to stick with the timeout thing… I don’t mean like make her go to the corner and stand there, but truly segregate her from yourself (e.g. in her room with door closed). My sons really don’t like the confinement and it seems to work pretty good. When out in public, I threaten time outs will be given upon return home, and it actually works (usually).
Another thing, be sure to follow through if on threat of timeouts, or else she won’t always believe you will do it.
Best of luck.. and don’t worry, all 2 yr olds have issues.
#14 by ????? on September 23rd, 2010
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Don’t swat her on the butt. Spank her and spank her HARD. She’s almost 2, give her 4 or 5 hard spanks when she is misbehaving. If she doesn’t stay in timeout, lock her in her room for 10 or 15 minutes.
#15 by Maranda on September 23rd, 2010
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The best way to teach a kid right from wrong is to give them a spanking. If she doesn’t care when you swat her, your obviously not swatting her hard enough. I know this could sound cruel to you, but it’s the disiplinary action that many people use that work. A little toddler won’t remember a tiny swat, but they’ll remember one that actually hurt. Also, try looking her in the eyes and saying NO loudly while you do it.
When I was young, my mom had a big oak paddle and I would get 3 hard smacks with no pants on. This is not called abuse, it’s called teaching your child discipline. Two years is TOO young for that, but a little bit harder smacking WILL WORK. I’m sure.
Good-luck!
#16 by arklatexrat on September 23rd, 2010
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Remove her from the situation. Talk to her in very simple terms. Make her understand the word “No”. Spank her hard enough to know you mean it without abusing her.
As she gets older, you will be more able to reason with her and explain “why” in addition to “No” but for right now, just use simple commands like “No, that hurts” or “No, that’s dangerous”.
Do you go to church? I would also suggest that you turn to your faith as a way to help teach your youngster values and discipline from a very early age. The nursery workers at church are very experienced cargivers who will not only be able to give you some pointers as a mom, but will also be able to give your daughter some loving guidance while she is in your care.
I would also suggest that you go to some Parenting websites, forums, and/or get some books on the subject. They will give you more detailed information on how to handle specific conflict situations. Also, look to other good moms you know and talk with them about what they have tried that works well (as well as what doesn’t). Is there is an aunt or grandma or someone else around that you trust??
Good luck~!
#17 by riopelc84 on September 23rd, 2010
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I have a 3 year old son. I found the best method that worked with him was time out. You make a place in the house, usually a corner or mat works(no toys or tv around). You make them sit there and do nothing. You tell them why you are putting them there and how long(always in a calm voice and get down to their level). If they fuss or move the time out starts over. I use the timer on the stove so when he hears it beep he calls me and i go over and ask him why he had a time out and if he understands. If he does understand i ask him if he is sorry and what he will do next time. If he apologizes calmly I give him a hug and let him go play. Let me know if you have anymore questions.
#18 by mtchndjnmtch on September 23rd, 2010
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You might try the old boogy man in the closet trick. If you are not good it will come out and get you!. Some may say that’s a little harsh, But it worked for me, and the lad is normal today.
#19 by latin_runner963 on September 23rd, 2010
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if she crys just ignore her so then she doesnt win and then she doesnt associate crying as a way of asking and when she crys dont give in dont give here what she wants when she doesnt behave try to discipline her physicologicly not physically
#20 by caseymmcdaniel on September 23rd, 2010
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Ha ha. “The terrible twos.” I am glad I am not you right now.
Your child is learning and developing through exploration and experimentation. It’s probably a combination of exploration and testing her boundaries.
Your daughter is two. It is completely normal for her to test her boundaries and get on your nerves. My advice: choose your battles. Redirect your daughter on issues that are important to you. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Timing out two year olds can be difficult. It takes a lot of patience. Swatting your child a little harder (not to harm her) might be effective as well.
Reinforce your child when she is behaving positively. Praise her verbally or give rewards.
Redirect your daughter when she is behaving negatively. Stop her and tell her what she SHOULD be doing. Avoid telling what NOT to do. Give her an alternative or something else to do. Often times kids are bored or just exploring.
I know this is not the best advice but Good luck!
#21 by tropikanagirl on September 23rd, 2010
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As a teacher, the best method I have found is to stay consistent with whatever method of disipline that you choose. For a two year old, when she wants her way about something that you feel is not safe or morally correct, say no. Tell her why and let her have a temper tantrum if she chooses. Explain to her that you will talk to her when she uses her nice voice to you. Eventually she will have to start thinking about her actions and how they affect others.
A great book that can help is “The Disipline Book” By Dr. William and Martha Sears. William is the husband, a pediatrician, Martha is a registered nurse and a mother of nine! They not only adopted children but they also have children of their own. They can give you the perception of a doctor and a parent.
Stay focused. Dont let her see that you are frusterated as well. Sometimes, children feed off of that and will purposefully do things to get a reaction out of you. So, when she has one of these fits or gets sassy with you, stay firm and say no. Try to be flexible and see why she’ll be sassy. Is it something as simple as just saying no and always wanting her way? Is it something that if she gets to a particular group of children, does she act this way? Monitor her behavior, Carefully monitor what triggers this sassiness and try your best to stay firm, but be loving. Talk to her as if you would talk to a friend. She’ll respect you more for being a good listener and for being firm with her in the future.
#22 by TIMOTHY H on September 23rd, 2010
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My mother used to drive up to front of our local orphanage and tell us to get out, then she would drive away, leaving us hysterically screaming on the side of the road. Of course she came back in fifteen minutes or so. Then we would climb back into our 1967 chevy bellair four door, with a chalky white paint job, and beautiful rust spots, and go home. Mama used to lecture us the whole way home about how when she’s dead and gone, we’ll be sorry we didn’t treat her better. Those rides home were great, no air conditioning, windows down, mama chain smoking kool menthol 100″s, her cigarette bobbing up and down in her lips as she cussed us out, and her cigarette ashes swirling through the car like a cloud of little locusts. Man I sure miss mama.
#23 by flateach3333 on September 23rd, 2010
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The best way to deal with a toddler is to give them a choice. It will also help if you give them warnings to a change from one activity to another. I would always let my boys have a choice and once they made that choice that was it. When we were leaving a place or getting ready for clean up I would give them a 10 min. warning, after the first 5 mins were up I would count down the final 5 minutes until I got to the last 10 seconds and then count down from there. If they had everything picked up by the time got done counting they would get a prize. If they continued to play that’s OK too just give them the same time for the actual clean up.
Remember your child is still very young and is learning how to use her body and all her parts. The world is still very new to her. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Don’t ever give empty threats. You will only look silly to your child.
#24 by Irish Mommy on September 23rd, 2010
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Really, there is no good method of “discipline” at the tender age of two. Or not EVEN two, as it happens.
At this age, you want to instill a sense of right and wrong, and (quite importantly) put a stop to any behavior that might cause the child or others harm. Touching a hot stove or hitting a sibling on the head, for instance. But actively punishing a child under the age of two isn’t just impractical — it’s generally pointless and even a possibly negative action on the part of the parents.
So certainly, you’d want to make it clear that some behavior simply isn’t acceptable. If she tries to touch that stove, an exaggerated “Ow! That’s hot!” or even a simple “NO!!!” is called for (but use the no-nos sparingly, or they’ll lose their power LOL). And of course, if she slams her brother’s fire truck over his head, promptly separate the two children (to avoid further attack LOL), take the truck away from her (you don’t get toys if you can’t play with them nicely), and clearly state that you “don’t hit. Hitting hurts!” It’ll get through.
But you definitely don’t try to “teach her a lesson” by giving her a time out or other such punishment. A child of this age likely doesn’t have any clue WHY she’s being put in this situation, and won’t likely retain any sort of “lesson” you’re trying to engrain.
So address the behavior itself clearly and immediately, but don’t punish a two-year-old for being a two-year-old. Positive reinforcement and properly-placed limitations are key at this stage. Discipline for purposeful bad behavior comes later. Think of it as building the foundation that later behavior — both good and bad — will be based on.
#25 by missmannah on September 23rd, 2010
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Since you said she is very sassy, I think you should take a step back and look at how you talk to her. A lot of parents are sarcastic and like to get the last word with their kids…and they don’t even realise it! It is no wonder these kids talk back, they are like little parrots. Also, watch the way you talk to other people in her earshot. If you stress being respectful in your speech, eventually she will get the message. Time-outs and spankings simply don;’t work.
#26 by kirstin on September 23rd, 2010
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To the person who said “PINCH HER” – I sure hope you don’t have any children of your own. I can think of very little more childish or disrespectful!