Comments on: Is it appropriate to spank a child under 3? http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/ Self Discipline Wed, 08 Feb 2012 02:44:04 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.3 By: Jimbo http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/comment-page-1/#comment-2982 Jimbo Mon, 31 May 2010 03:51:44 +0000 http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/#comment-2982 The thought of "spanking" a one or two year old is, to many people, abhorrent. Yet many will "smack" the back of a youg child's hand if that child is reaching for a hot kettle or deliver a smack to the diapered bottom if the kid is toddling out onto the street.. I guess maybe a lot depends on what is meant by "spanking". Mostly, though, seems to me a "real spanking" shouldn't be for a 1 year old or a 2 year old, save the spanings for the 11 year old or 12 year old who would be better able to understand and learn from it. The thought of “spanking” a one or two year old is, to many people, abhorrent. Yet many will “smack” the back of a youg child’s hand if that child is reaching for a hot kettle or deliver a smack to the diapered bottom if the kid is toddling out onto the street..

I guess maybe a lot depends on what is meant by “spanking”.

Mostly, though, seems to me a “real spanking” shouldn’t be for a 1 year old or a 2 year old, save the spanings for the 11 year old or 12 year old who would be better able to understand and learn from it.

]]> By: detroitmom1 http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/comment-page-1/#comment-2981 detroitmom1 Mon, 31 May 2010 02:56:24 +0000 http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/#comment-2981 A small swat on the butt is not bad. I have a 14 month old and every now and then I'll tape his bottom. But at this age it doesn't register so he starts to laugh. Therefore, I don't see anything wrong with a parent (not childcare provider or teacher) taping their child's bottom. The best way to handle discipline at this age is to tell them no, if that doesn't work and you get irritated, take them for a walk. Don't spank them when you get angry because it will always be harder that you wanted it to be. That always works for me. A small swat on the butt is not bad. I have a 14 month old and every now and then I’ll tape his bottom. But at this age it doesn’t register so he starts to laugh. Therefore, I don’t see anything wrong with a parent (not childcare provider or teacher) taping their child’s bottom.

The best way to handle discipline at this age is to tell them no, if that doesn’t work and you get irritated, take them for a walk. Don’t spank them when you get angry because it will always be harder that you wanted it to be. That always works for me.

]]> By: T http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/comment-page-1/#comment-2980 T Mon, 31 May 2010 02:04:46 +0000 http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/#comment-2980 I think it partially depends on your definition of spanking- Are we talking about the spanking that parents from an older generation gave- which were actually beatings. Or are you talking about what most parents today call a spanking- a single small swat on the butt? Either way I don't think it it appropriate for under 2 yrs old or children who can not yet comprehend right & wrong. As a child care provider or teacher it is never OK for you to discipline a child in that way- even if the parent says it's OK (I imagine- it's a whole can of worms that you don't want to get involved in- lawsuits, etc.) As a parent I use a swat (spanking) on the butt as a last resort after i have tried everything else. It doesn't happen often (less than once a month) & never out of anger. I have found with some childrens temperments - this is the only way to show them that i am serious. Example- (my children have found it's really fun taking out the "child-proof" outlet protectors.) My child is playing with the electrical outlet (pulg-in) I take her away & I explained to her that she will get hurt playing with the outlet, after I'm done talking she goes right back to the outlet. I have taken her away from it- & got her working on another project. When she finished the project she went back to the outlet. I give her a time out & talk with her about the dangers of the outlet, when we are done she goes straight back to it. Finally after spending hours "chasing" her away from the outlet, I see her playing with it again & give her a small swat on the butt- it gets her attention & I again explain to her the dangers of the outlet & how the outlet will hurt her worse than the pain she feels when I spanked her. She doesn't go back to the outlet. I think it partially depends on your definition of spanking- Are we talking about the spanking that parents from an older generation gave- which were actually beatings. Or are you talking about what most parents today call a spanking- a single small swat on the butt?

Either way I don’t think it it appropriate for under 2 yrs old or children who can not yet comprehend right & wrong. As a child care provider or teacher it is never OK for you to discipline a child in that way- even if the parent says it’s OK (I imagine- it’s a whole can of worms that you don’t want to get involved in- lawsuits, etc.)

As a parent I use a swat (spanking) on the butt as a last resort after i have tried everything else. It doesn’t happen often (less than once a month) & never out of anger. I have found with some childrens temperments – this is the only way to show them that i am serious.
Example- (my children have found it’s really fun taking out the “child-proof” outlet protectors.) My child is playing with the electrical outlet (pulg-in) I take her away & I explained to her that she will get hurt playing with the outlet, after I’m done talking she goes right back to the outlet. I have taken her away from it- & got her working on another project. When she finished the project she went back to the outlet. I give her a time out & talk with her about the dangers of the outlet, when we are done she goes straight back to it. Finally after spending hours “chasing” her away from the outlet, I see her playing with it again & give her a small swat on the butt- it gets her attention & I again explain to her the dangers of the outlet & how the outlet will hurt her worse than the pain she feels when I spanked her. She doesn’t go back to the outlet.

]]> By: Heavenly Advocate http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/comment-page-1/#comment-2979 Heavenly Advocate Mon, 31 May 2010 01:23:10 +0000 http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/#comment-2979 It's not ok to spank a child under 3. That's just insaine. There's no way a child that young can comprehend what is going on other than "mommy or daddy hit me". What kind of person would hit a baby(which is what a 1 yr old is). As for older kids, sometimes, when it's serious enough you need to make sure they understand teh severity of what they've done. For instance, lets say you have a child who is 6yrs old and decides it might be fun to throw a dish towel on the stove while the burner is on to watch it burn while giggling and saying "it's on fire!" or shoving their baby sister infront of an oncoming car to see if it will stop in time then heck yeah they need their butts spanked. They need to know the severity of what they've done and I think that should be reserved for what I consider "life threatening bad behavior" not because little Jimmy wrote on the wall with a crayon or ran outside with his pants around his ankles showing his privates to the neighbors. But it is never ok to spank a little child. If anything the parent is the one who needs spanking in that case. It’s not ok to spank a child under 3. That’s just insaine. There’s no way a child that young can comprehend what is going on other than “mommy or daddy hit me”. What kind of person would hit a baby(which is what a 1 yr old is). As for older kids, sometimes, when it’s serious enough you need to make sure they understand teh severity of what they’ve done. For instance, lets say you have a child who is 6yrs old and decides it might be fun to throw a dish towel on the stove while the burner is on to watch it burn while giggling and saying “it’s on fire!” or shoving their baby sister infront of an oncoming car to see if it will stop in time then heck yeah they need their butts spanked. They need to know the severity of what they’ve done and I think that should be reserved for what I consider “life threatening bad behavior” not because little Jimmy wrote on the wall with a crayon or ran outside with his pants around his ankles showing his privates to the neighbors. But it is never ok to spank a little child. If anything the parent is the one who needs spanking in that case.

]]> By: Jessica http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/comment-page-1/#comment-2978 Jessica Mon, 31 May 2010 00:25:32 +0000 http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/#comment-2978 i don't think spanking a kid for trying to understand how the world works is appropriate. in a few desperate situations i have battled at my 16 month olds hand to keep him from touching something hot, but that was for protection not punishment. punishment is difficult at that age because a lot of the time they are doing things in order to learn. so yea, i agree with you, regardless of a persons personal view on spanking, i do not think spanking at 18 months is appropriate. i don’t think spanking a kid for trying to understand how the world works is appropriate. in a few desperate situations i have battled at my 16 month olds hand to keep him from touching something hot, but that was for protection not punishment. punishment is difficult at that age because a lot of the time they are doing things in order to learn. so yea, i agree with you, regardless of a persons personal view on spanking, i do not think spanking at 18 months is appropriate.

]]> By: SalemWitchChild http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/comment-page-1/#comment-2977 SalemWitchChild Mon, 31 May 2010 00:02:05 +0000 http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/#comment-2977 I think in certain situations yes it is OK to spank younger. My rule is that I never spank unless the child has endangered their life, mine, or anyone else's or if they've disregarded me more than twice. I also never spank in anger. I think that is very important because if your angry your more likely to go overboard into abuse. I have a group for spanking mothers here. http://www.cafemom.com/group/momswhospank You'd have to join cafemom which is a great website for mothers BTW. Spanking can be done correctly but you have to set down your guidelines and follow them. IMO at age 3 it's too late. When they begin to understand the rules and break them anyway then that's when it's time to lightly spank. I never spank more than 3 times lightly on the bum and never hard enough to leave a mark. I think in certain situations yes it is OK to spank younger. My rule is that I never spank unless the child has endangered their life, mine, or anyone else’s or if they’ve disregarded me more than twice. I also never spank in anger. I think that is very important because if your angry your more likely to go overboard into abuse. I have a group for spanking mothers here.
http://www.cafemom.com/group/momswhospank

You’d have to join cafemom which is a great website for mothers BTW.

Spanking can be done correctly but you have to set down your guidelines and follow them. IMO at age 3 it’s too late. When they begin to understand the rules and break them anyway then that’s when it’s time to lightly spank. I never spank more than 3 times lightly on the bum and never hard enough to leave a mark.

]]> By: AngieWings http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/comment-page-1/#comment-2976 AngieWings Sun, 30 May 2010 23:21:52 +0000 http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/#comment-2976 Although I am fairly new at this parenting thing (only one child 20 months old), we started doing tapping on the hand early and saying - consistantly- "No." Recently we have started "time out." (Keep in mind we only do it for a minute, because of her age). But it seems to be working really well. When she starts something I can say "no." That sometimes does the trick. If not, I mention time out and that does the trick - ususally. Although I am fairly new at this parenting thing (only one child 20 months old), we started doing tapping on the hand early and saying – consistantly- “No.” Recently we have started “time out.” (Keep in mind we only do it for a minute, because of her age). But it seems to be working really well. When she starts something I can say “no.” That sometimes does the trick. If not, I mention time out and that does the trick – ususally.

]]> By: telie http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/comment-page-1/#comment-2975 telie Sun, 30 May 2010 22:59:25 +0000 http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/#comment-2975 no need to spank a quick tap on the hands is effective unless you have my kid she will just laugh at you so my effective method is time out she don't like that no need to spank a quick tap on the hands is effective unless you have my kid she will just laugh at you so my effective method is time out she don’t like that

]]> By: useurbrain http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/comment-page-1/#comment-2974 useurbrain Sun, 30 May 2010 22:38:16 +0000 http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/#comment-2974 Depends on what your definition of spank is. I threaten my 2 year old that I am going to spank her BUT my spank is a pop on her diaper padded bottom or a pop on her hand. Depends on what your definition of spank is. I threaten my 2 year old that I am going to spank her BUT my spank is a pop on her diaper padded bottom or a pop on her hand.

]]> By: Blake http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/comment-page-1/#comment-2973 Blake Sun, 30 May 2010 22:25:27 +0000 http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/#comment-2973 It is never okay to spank your child! It is never okay to spank your child!

]]> By: spelling nazi http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/comment-page-1/#comment-2972 spelling nazi Sun, 30 May 2010 22:12:41 +0000 http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/#comment-2972 Yes, I think it's totally appropriate to spank under the age of 3. Yes, I think it’s totally appropriate to spank under the age of 3.

]]> By: Sapphire J http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/comment-page-1/#comment-2971 Sapphire J Sun, 30 May 2010 22:07:23 +0000 http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/#comment-2971 I personally, don't think that a child as young as 18 months really understands what's going on when you spank them. 18 months is awful young and their rationalizing skills just aren't developed that far yet and so I think that there are better punishments rather than spanking them. I personally, don’t think that a child as young as 18 months really understands what’s going on when you spank them. 18 months is awful young and their rationalizing skills just aren’t developed that far yet and so I think that there are better punishments rather than spanking them.

]]> By: ghetto_princess283 http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/comment-page-1/#comment-2970 ghetto_princess283 Sun, 30 May 2010 21:26:52 +0000 http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/#comment-2970 I don't think its appropriate to spank kids until they know what their doing is wrong. Maybe a smack on the hand if it could have possibly hurt them, like an 18 m. child trying to touch the stove. That's the policy my family uses, if it could have hurt the child you can spank, but the rest of the time we put them in the corner for 1 min. for every year they are. =) I don’t think its appropriate to spank kids until they know what their doing is wrong. Maybe a smack on the hand if it could have possibly hurt them, like an 18 m. child trying to touch the stove. That’s the policy my family uses, if it could have hurt the child you can spank, but the rest of the time we put them in the corner for 1 min. for every year they are. =)

]]> By: Siren5 http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/comment-page-1/#comment-2969 Siren5 Sun, 30 May 2010 21:20:01 +0000 http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/#comment-2969 I didn't spank my children at 18 months, but if they touched something that I didn't want them touching - i would "spank" their hands and say "no touching." It wasn't a big spank, just a little one. And never on the first time. If they touched, i would take the object away and say no, if they kept doing it then i would spank their hands. My kids are 3 and 4 now and we don't need to spank, we just have to ask if they want one - that usually adjusts their attitude enough. I also find that time outs are more effective anyway. It's not worth spanking because it doesn't adjust their behavior. I think children are too young for spanking at 18 months. I didn’t spank my children at 18 months, but if they touched something that I didn’t want them touching – i would “spank” their hands and say “no touching.” It wasn’t a big spank, just a little one. And never on the first time. If they touched, i would take the object away and say no, if they kept doing it then i would spank their hands. My kids are 3 and 4 now and we don’t need to spank, we just have to ask if they want one – that usually adjusts their attitude enough.

I also find that time outs are more effective anyway. It’s not worth spanking because it doesn’t adjust their behavior. I think children are too young for spanking at 18 months.

]]> By: Eric G http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/comment-page-1/#comment-2968 Eric G Sun, 30 May 2010 20:43:14 +0000 http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/#comment-2968 Parents that spank are parents that lose control of their child. I am not saying they are not good parents, but sometimes parents just need to step back and think about what they are saying. Parents often let their child run wild and than one day expect that they are going to act perfectly and if they dont they want to discipline them. You can't have the best of both worlds either you are a parent who teaches their child from a young age to be respectful and to behave or you are the kind of parent that makes someone in a resturant get up and leave. Parents that spank are parents that lose control of their child. I am not saying they are not good parents, but sometimes parents just need to step back and think about what they are saying. Parents often let their child run wild and than one day expect that they are going to act perfectly and if they dont they want to discipline them. You can’t have the best of both worlds either you are a parent who teaches their child from a young age to be respectful and to behave or you are the kind of parent that makes someone in a resturant get up and leave.

]]> By: glenn t http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/comment-page-1/#comment-2967 glenn t Sun, 30 May 2010 20:18:25 +0000 http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/#comment-2967 The terrible twos demand some moderate but serious discipline. One quick little but firm tap on rear end will help you through it. Certainly shouldnt be something that would be harmful or cause bodily harm, but the act of administering discipline is as important as the small act of a spat on the rear. If you wait longer they will control you. The terrible twos demand some moderate but serious discipline. One quick little but firm tap on rear end will help you through it. Certainly shouldnt be something that would be harmful or cause bodily harm, but the act of administering discipline is as important as the small act of a spat on the rear. If you wait longer they will control you.

]]> By: dolphin2253 http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/comment-page-1/#comment-2966 dolphin2253 Sun, 30 May 2010 19:50:17 +0000 http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/#comment-2966 My son is 10. I never spanked him that young. I would pop his hand and tell him no if he was messing with something he shouldn't but that's it. My son is 10. I never spanked him that young. I would pop his hand and tell him no if he was messing with something he shouldn’t but that’s it.

]]> By: Beth http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/comment-page-1/#comment-2965 Beth Sun, 30 May 2010 18:53:59 +0000 http://www.veryeasydiscipline.com/child-discipline/is-it-appropriate-to-spank-a-child-under-3/#comment-2965 Under 3...over 3...it's never okay to hit your child. Under 3…over 3…it’s never okay to hit your child.

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