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Well for me it was quite simple – do as I say! Instilling obediance at a young age is vital and when you can’t reason with them (or don’t have the time to) that is the way to go.
My son is only 13 months but I firmly believe that a disobedient 1 yr old will lead to a disobedient older toddler/child. I try not to be too harsh with him, he is my baby after all..however, I am consistant. He knows that he is not to play on the stairs. I do not put a baby gate there to keep him from going up but if he tries he will get a firm scolding. It hurts his feelings more than anything….but he does remember it well. Other than that I really try not to instill too many boundaries in the home as long as it doesn’t pose a hazard to his safety I let him explore his home
I start with a very safe and very childproof house so there is limited things for her to get into.
For every “no” there is a “yes”…..don’t eat mommy’s keys, here..chew on your plastic keys instead.
I tell her something 2 times, then act on it on the third time. For example I tell her not to eat the keys twice. On the third time I take them off her.
I give her choices whenever possible. this seems to help with defiance.
Consistancy is the key. Mean what you say and do it. Also pick your battles. Know why your saying no, it makes it much easier to inforce. Dont say “no” just because it is the first thing that comes out. Thats been a big thing for me.
I pick my battles, and always make sure I praise good behaviour, this is a better strategy than always saying no,no, no. When they do something good make a big deal out of it, that way they will want to keep trying to impress you. I will actually ignore bad behaviour (within reason) and distract her with something else.
Explain what is and isn’t ok… “We don’t hit Sister.”
Time out seems to work pretty well with the kids I’ve worked with. Often it’s on my lap as I’m not “Mom,” and I’m either in their home or in some kind of institution (church, day care, etc).
I don’t let the time out last longer in minutes than the child’s age in years… 2 years old = 2 minutes of time out.
When I get the child out of time out, I re-phrase the reason they were sent to time out… “Can you be nice to your sister?”…
(Thanks, GGM for reminding me-) And anytime the child does what is asked, no matter how small- I acknowledge and praise it. “Thanks for playing so nicely with your sister!”
With older kids (5 or 6+) I usually explain why the wrong behavior is wrong, and if necessary show or tell them how to do better next time….
I also try to stick with natural and logical consequences- when there’s some kind or rationale that connects the “crime” with the “punishment,” the kids seem to understand better.
#1 by Win on June 7th, 2011
Quote
Have you seen the show “The Nanny or the The Super Nanny” I think it’s Jo Frost.
Her method of “the naughty corner” it works for my kids.
#2 by Joan R on June 7th, 2011
Quote
Well for me it was quite simple – do as I say! Instilling obediance at a young age is vital and when you can’t reason with them (or don’t have the time to) that is the way to go.
#3 by Amy O on June 7th, 2011
Quote
My son is only 13 months but I firmly believe that a disobedient 1 yr old will lead to a disobedient older toddler/child. I try not to be too harsh with him, he is my baby after all..however, I am consistant. He knows that he is not to play on the stairs. I do not put a baby gate there to keep him from going up but if he tries he will get a firm scolding. It hurts his feelings more than anything….but he does remember it well. Other than that I really try not to instill too many boundaries in the home as long as it doesn’t pose a hazard to his safety I let him explore his home
#4 by ShellyLynn on June 7th, 2011
Quote
I start with a very safe and very childproof house so there is limited things for her to get into.
For every “no” there is a “yes”…..don’t eat mommy’s keys, here..chew on your plastic keys instead.
I tell her something 2 times, then act on it on the third time. For example I tell her not to eat the keys twice. On the third time I take them off her.
I give her choices whenever possible. this seems to help with defiance.
#5 by blueyedmommy1 on June 7th, 2011
Quote
Consistancy is the key. Mean what you say and do it. Also pick your battles. Know why your saying no, it makes it much easier to inforce. Dont say “no” just because it is the first thing that comes out. Thats been a big thing for me.
#6 by GG M on June 7th, 2011
Quote
I pick my battles, and always make sure I praise good behaviour, this is a better strategy than always saying no,no, no. When they do something good make a big deal out of it, that way they will want to keep trying to impress you. I will actually ignore bad behaviour (within reason) and distract her with something else.
#7 by The Orginal Duck (Annie) on June 7th, 2011
Quote
Explain what is and isn’t ok… “We don’t hit Sister.”
Time out seems to work pretty well with the kids I’ve worked with. Often it’s on my lap as I’m not “Mom,” and I’m either in their home or in some kind of institution (church, day care, etc).
I don’t let the time out last longer in minutes than the child’s age in years… 2 years old = 2 minutes of time out.
When I get the child out of time out, I re-phrase the reason they were sent to time out… “Can you be nice to your sister?”…
(Thanks, GGM for reminding me-) And anytime the child does what is asked, no matter how small- I acknowledge and praise it. “Thanks for playing so nicely with your sister!”
With older kids (5 or 6+) I usually explain why the wrong behavior is wrong, and if necessary show or tell them how to do better next time….
I also try to stick with natural and logical consequences- when there’s some kind or rationale that connects the “crime” with the “punishment,” the kids seem to understand better.