What do children really need besides food, shelter and protection? Have you ever wondered what your responsibility is to ensure that your child will grow up to be a contributing member of society? As a mom, foster mom and grandmother as well as a family educator and relationship coach, I have learned a few things about what children really need. Surprise, it is not the latest toy or name brand clothing.
Following are a few notes that your child would tell you if he or she could. Relax, none of them cost anything but some time and attention.
1. Spend time with me. The most wonderful present you can give me is your presence in my life. Laugh and play games with me. Take me to the park and push me on the swings. Let me help with the chores. Read to me every day so that I will develop a love of learning. I want your attention.
2. Set boundaries and guidelines that will allow me the freedom to growand develop but keep me safe and teach me right from wrong. Be consistent in your expectations so I know what my limits are. Use natural and logical consequences for unacceptable behavior. I learn better when you tell me what you want instead of what you don’t want.
3. Discipline, but don’t punish me. Discipline is teaching and guiding. The root of the word discipline comes from disciple and means leader and teacher. Punishment is a short-term measure and hurts my feelings. Hitting, yellingand spanking will only teach me to hit, yell and spank.
4. Respect me as a child of God, as well as your child. Listen to me without passing judgment. Talk to me without nagging or yelling. Hug me for no reason and value me for being just who I am. I will do the same for you. Respect is a two way street and I learn how to deal with others as you deal with me.
5. Tell me you love me every day. You know you love me, but I don’t know it unless you tell me in words and show me in actions that your love is unconditional. Remember there is a difference between what I do (deed) and me (doer) Tell me you are proud of my progress and accomplishments. Encourage me as I learn to do better each day. Learning is a process and help me to know that you love me even if I do make a mistake or screw up occasionally.
It seems pretty simple, isn’t it? I said simple, not easy. If you grew up in a negative environment, you may fall back into old patterns of behavior under stress. But, you don’t have to parent that way. You have a choice.We always have options and choices. Our children deserve our best efforts.
You Can Change Old Belief Patterns
You are invited to a free teleclass and radio show each Thursday about various aspects of family relationships and communication. Check at our main website for the schedule. You will feel they have been designed just for you and they have.
Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach
http://www.articlesbase.com/fathering-articles/what-do-children-need-from-parents-help-them-understand-and-express-their-needs-and-wants-750017.html
#1 by Lilly on October 2nd, 2009
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Why do people (parents in particular) feel they need to express their opinions about this?
I have two stepsons (twins, 15) and a daughter (2) who are vegan, like my husband and myself. It seems that whenever I ask a question here, and even if I mention our veganism in passing people jump on me and tell me it’s not healthy, and it needs to be their choice? All my kids are healthy, the 15 year olds have chosen this lifestyle for themselves and are very happy, and the 2 year old will be able to eat meat/dairy/eggs when she is older and can make an informed choice about her diet.
If I let her make her own choices about food at the age of 2, she would only eat bananas and sprite. Why do so many people feel they need to tell me to make it her choice (which we are, when she CAN make that choice) and that it’s not healthy ( she’s a perfect weight for her age and height and hasn’t been sick once. the twins are both on varsity soccer and are some of the healthiest teens I know)
I don’t understand why people (parents in particular) feel they constantly need to express their opinions about this. If I ask a question, I want an answer, not an opinion that I’m not going to listen to. If I was talking about feeding my children my own hair and beating them with a meterstick, I could understand the opinions. But I’m not.
#2 by Elizabeth L on October 3rd, 2009
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Because people are very vocal and while you feel firm about your belief, others feel firm on theirs. And while I completely disagree with what you’re doing I’d try to look past that to help. It’s like my wanting another baby but still helping those who ask about abortion. I can’t control your kids or you but I can disagree. Shouldn’t put that in mind while you help others though.
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#3 by Justice for Caylee Marie on October 3rd, 2009
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It’s simple some people are under educated about veganism…I am a meat eater, but I do also know that as long as they are getting protein by other means, that its actually very healthy….but unfortunately I don’t think I could live without meat, I was always brought up with it..
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to each his own
#4 by Elizabeth on October 3rd, 2009
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I don’t think vegan-ism is unhealthy, I just hate people’s reasons for being vegan…. such as animal cruelty – it isn’t as common as peta makes it sound. Or they don’t want animals to die for their meal – well the meat at the store…. that animal has already died, if that meat isn’t eaten than the animal has died in vain.
This is my personal opinion, I really don’t give a crap what you do! =)
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#5 by Annie on October 3rd, 2009
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Probably they don’t understand enough about what it is to be a vegan in the sense of substituting meat, dairy and other animal products for highly nutritious foods that our bodies are actually better adapted to anyhow. Its just small mindedness that they cant accept you lifestyle choices. we live in such a consumer world unfortunately, and when most people are told by the media, or medical practitioners you must eat this and you must eat that, and this is better or healthier, or quicker or kids will like it more ect., they believe it. even if its not the case. I think there is a lot of misinformed people out there, including people in the medical world, who have been educated in this single mind frame. It must be quite annoying for you, i would tell all these other parents to mind their own business!!
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#6 by lea :) on October 3rd, 2009
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I guess some people just can’t stand the fact that everyone has different lifestyles, and that just because they’re different doesn’t mean that it’s wrong.
I definitely agree with you, some people will find something to attack you about no matter what you ask.I don’t understand how people can immediately assume you’re a bad parent because of your family’s diet.
Your kids are happy, healthy, and make their own choice to be vegan-that’s all that matters!
Even though it’s irritating, just ignore peoples rude opinions, and remember that your lifestyle works well for YOUR family.
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#7 by Trophy Wife on October 3rd, 2009
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I am not against vegans either however you cant say that it is very healthy. Especially vegan. It is VERY VERY hard to get the proper nutrition when you are vegan. Vegetarian is hard enough but vegan is very hard. My brother was a vegetarian for 5 years and he was very very sickly. He was malnourished and all of his bones were starting to protrude through his skin. He had to go back to eating meat because he was embarrassed at what he looked like. He wont even look at pictures of himself back then. He looked so sick. So from my personal experience there is nothing wrong with it, if it is done properly.
I will tell you what I have a strong opinion on though, mothers with overweight kids, that feed them fastfood. I think that is child abuse, and it sets the child up for a lifetime of weight issues. Some parents are too lazy to parent and resort to feeding their kids $hit so they dont have to listen to them complain. I have a very very strong opinion on that! I would never see someone who is vegan and say it is wrong. It is way healthier then fastfood.
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#8 by MadameXCupcake on October 3rd, 2009
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I dont really say much about food choices since it is a very personal decision. We are into traditional foods, and if it is an ethical reason for being Vegan you could always support your local farmers.
We use a small dairy locally for raw milk and a ranch up north for natural grass fed beef that is humanely treated.
Personally I do not think Veganism is healthy. How does your daughter get B12? B12 is not available from plants.
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#9 by srq on October 3rd, 2009
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I know if my two-year old brother was given the choice he’d eat M+Ms all day. I think it’simportant to be informedof all the choices, as long as it isn’t forced upon them I don’t think anyone should judge. i think it’s great that you’re promoting a healty lifestyle for them.
The majority of kids don’t do their own grocery shopping and develop eating habits based on whats available in the home. When healthy food is there, they tend to eat it more. There’s nothing wrong with wanting your children to be healthy, especially with the obesity, diabetes, and heart disease numbers rising in todays society.
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#10 by 25 Weeks Pregnant! on October 3rd, 2009
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I think a lot of people are uninformed about what being vegan really is. They assume you are only eating lettuce and not getting proper nutrients.
Don’t let them get to you. If it works for you and your family, then keep it up
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#11 by ?Mrs Ch?rlí? on October 3rd, 2009
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Ignorance is bliss.
Do NOT lower yourself to their standards. You know your Family and you know what is best for them, ok. So don’t ever let any strangers on here, make you feel like a twit.
I am Vegetarian (I am actually allergic to meat), and I am perfectly, well not perfectly, but my diet has never done me any harm. I am sure if it was doing me harm, I’d do the best to help myself, as I would do if any of my children were in a similar predicament.
Just because we don’t eat some products, certainly doesn’t make us stupid, or incapable of being wonderful parents.
What people fail to see so often is that a Vegan or Vegetarian diet is actually really healthy. More so than one with meat.
I do suggest, if you are going to ask about Vegan or Vegetarian Dieting in children, maybe go to the Vegan & Vegetarian part, you will get more educated answer, from *some* of the users.
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