Comments on: Would you ever Discipline a Friend’s Child?

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[...]Would you ever Discipline a Friend’s Child? | Discipline[...]…

By: elainevdb

elainevdb — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 11:02:59 +0000

My friends are pretty good at keeping their kids in line. I do, however, have to discipline my niece, because my sister doesn’t. She can run riot in my house and if I don’t step in, there will be nothing left of it…

In our group – about 5 couples with kids, we always keep a look out for each others’ children. If one of them gets in trouble, any of us will step in to discipline, stop a fight or accident. It’s nothing strange. My son is the youngest of the bunch though, and so far no one has had to do anything… but if I’m looking away and he does get into mischief it wouldn’t bother me if a GOOD friend or family member steps up. It would grind my nerves though if a stranger disciplines my child. I am fairly strict, and if my son gets up to no good in public and I don’t see it, then they can tell me and I will do something about it.

I do not discipline strangers’ children… If it looks like a child is in danger or endangering someone else’s child then I will ‘help’ – but I won’t just walk up to a naughty child in public and start disciplining them. And if ‘not so good’ friends come into my house and they can’t keep their kids under control I’ll say something to the parents first. If they do nothing, then I’ll try to do something. At their house, the children can do as they please… not my house, not my rules. My child, however, will behave himself and be respectful of others and their property.
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By: S_Mgr Mark's Mommy

S_Mgr *Mark's Mommy* — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 10:40:59 +0000

I would do exactly what you do. In MY house they go by my rules and if their parents wont say anything, then I will. If I was in their house then I wouldn't say anything unless like you said, they are doing something to me or my son.
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By: Olivia is laughing at the Trolls

Olivia is laughing at the Trolls — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 10:09:59 +0000

yup, I even disciplined a complete stranger's kid at the play area in the mall. ( she was trying to kick my baby)
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By: mystic_eye_cda

mystic_eye_cda — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 09:43:59 +0000

I’ve even disciplined other people’s kids at the park. I can’t be in two places at once so I would certainly hope if someone saw my kid hitting another kid they would say something to him (he’s two so talking to me and having me talk to him would be pointless) or stop him running into the street or something.

And I certainly don’t mind if someone helps him because he gets stuck, just like I help out other kids (however I do hate parents who just can’t be bothered getting off their duff when their kids get stuck)
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By: Rebecca: Aka :Calebs Momma!

Rebecca: Aka :Calebs Momma! — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 09:37:59 +0000

Yep. I have a friend that has a 3 year old little toddler terror! He’s out of control. He screams at her, hits her, calls her names, etc etc. Well the last time they payed me a visit my son was only a week old and he was poking and prodding at the baby and she didn’t do anything…. I had to take his hand away from Caleb and tell him "No, be gentle!" He also crawled up the back of the sofa then jumped off the back, flying through the air like he was freakin super man, grabbed at my cupboards and thought he’d help himself to the Lucky charms cereal which he poured all over the floor and ate off of the floor, grabbed at nick nacks I had sitting around on my coffee table… so yes I did tell him No many a time and his mother was completely oblivious to all of it…. in fact on her way out she told him "Since you’ve been such a good boy today we’ll go for ice cream." Yea good idea, load the kid up with more sugar after the Lucky charms so he can bounce off the walls all the more! Needless to say they haven’t been invited back to my house since. A lot of the time I think it’s the parents fault, I mean if they know ahead of time they are going somewhere pack toys and coloring books and crayons to keep your kids occupied. Of course they are going to get bored; its not like they can sit around and join in on the adult conversation, lol!
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By: K S

K S — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 09:06:59 +0000

I am with you. My house, my rules. I really don’t have any problems with my friends and disciplining eachother’s children. I guess that is why they are friends.
Family, is a different story. A cousin of mine has a child that I swear in 15 years is going to be a serial killer. He is violent, hurts other children, destroys property, curses adults out, kills small animals. It is a controversy in the family. My Grandmother says it is nobody’s business. I say, my job is to protect my child. When we visit, my children know they are to stay right next to me if Alex is in the room.
One time, Alex walked up to me and slapped me in the face with a tennis racket. I grabbed it, and slapped him right back (with my hand). And threw the racket away.
Needless to say, I do not intend to visit again, and this child is not welcome in my home. He is not welcome in any home except his Grandmother’s and his great aunt’s. The rest of us have small children and valuables we need to protect.
It is a hard situation, but the best way to deal with it, is to separate yourself from the situation. When they come and visit, they stay in a hotel, and we meet in the park. The rest I will let the schools and prisons take care of.
With friends…we have all had "the talk". I expect them to discipline my child, and I theirs. They all agree on the issues of time outs. None of them are extreme situations though. I would not spank a friend’s child. I very rarely spank my own except in severe situations.
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By: Kitty 2

Kitty 2 — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 08:53:59 +0000

Heck yes.. no doubt about it.. if a kid comes in my house i sure would scold them ,, then turn the tables on the mother if she were here and tell her to get a grip on her child. THeres no need in a child that wasnt mine to behave this way. Hey i have even gotten on to my grands when they were at there own home for doing things.
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By: Landon's Momma

Landon's Momma — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 08:39:59 +0000

none of my friends really have kids but i sure do dicipline my nephews (2/12 and 16 months) my sister knows sometimes she is just too exhausted to discipline them when they need it
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By: M M

M M — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 08:04:59 +0000

That’s really not discipline. Your actually just looking out for your stuff. If they do something harmful (to themselves or someone else) I don’t allow the behavior. But as far as discipline (as in punishment befitting the bad behavior) that is up to the parents. If the parent don’t allow you to stop bad acting in your house, they are welcome to the door, along with the kids.
Most friends I have usually discipline their kids TOO much in our home, over concern for our stuff, and we usually tell them what the child is doing is okay with us if its okay with them.
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By: J Bird

J Bird — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 07:57:59 +0000

I agree. Kids listen when they are told by people they are not comfortable with.
They need to be taught respect. I hate it when parents tune there own kids out. They scream and scream and the parents don’t even notice. That’s when I step in usually just say HEY! relax! and they stop. friends kids not strangers.
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By: Lorenzo's mum & BABY TO BE

Lorenzo's mum & BABY TO BE — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 07:41:59 +0000

this is how i see it..
if you are in my house its my responsibility if your kids hurts them selves so i will tell them to stop doing something if i think they can hurt themselves

if we are out and i see there is a risk of injury to the child i wont hesitate to say " hey get over here" or stop doing that you will hurt yourself ,, and hope the mother will catch on and say something to them’

i have even told a child to stop interrupting the mother as she talked to me.
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By: BJ

BJ — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 07:19:59 +0000

When someone brings their child into your home, if they are going to stand around and let their child wreak havoc, then you have every right to say something. If they don't like it, they should teach their child to behave in someone else's home.
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By: jina

jina — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 06:30:59 +0000

Uhm…yes if my friends’ baby was in my house doing things that a baby shouldn’t be doing..I would say no…and pull them away..give them a toy to play with instead. I think the problem comes in when it seems as if you’re being too strong with the firm NO. As long as you say no…and approach it in a sweeter way your friends will like it more.

If one of my friends hit or yelled at my baby…I would be pretty ticked off.
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By: pumkinsmommy

pumkinsmommy — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 06:00:59 +0000

I would never physically discipline a friends child, I won’t even do it to my children either.

I will however verbally discipline a friends child in my own home, and that goes also goes for family’s children also. When they are doing something that is unsafe or completely out of line, it is irresponsible not to speak up. I wouldn’t mind if others did this to my children as well, as long as they know how to properly discipline in a constructive manor, I see no problems with it.
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By: ? ???? ???? ????

? ???? ???? ???? — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 05:34:59 +0000

Yes. I give all young children the standard-issue "time out" or take toys, privileges away, etc-
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By: tidgie10211982

tidgie10211982 — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 05:05:59 +0000

I had to yell at a friends child once. She was 1 year and 8 months. My friend was hosting my baby shower at my house and brought her daughter… no big deal, right? Wrong! Her daughter is a terror! She came over and emptied my movie cabinet, snapped a DVD in half, broke the track on my slider door, and picked up a porcelain figurine and threw it against the wall (it was something my grandmother made, and by the grace of God, it didn’t break). My friend just sat there giggling at how "cute they are at this age". After she threw the porcelain dog at the wall, I had had it, I went and picked her up and told her "No! You don’t throw things!" and sat her down on the couch with a toy her mom had brought along for her. That friend is no longer welcome at my home.
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By: Racheal

Racheal — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 04:50:59 +0000

I take care of children in my home. My friend’s drop their kids off and when they are in my house with just me i do give them a firm "NO" and if they don’t stop then they sit in time out… Also, when i am with my friends i just tell them to "get their kid" and if they dont then i do.

This is how i look at it, if the child is going to get hurt or hurt someone else you are just helping them.
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By: Katkat - Lovin Mr Taylor :) xx

Katkat - Lovin Mr Taylor :) xx — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 04:00:59 +0000

Oh god yes. My goddaughter is a bit of a menace and she’s 18 months older than Finn (who’s about to turn 2) and if she misbehaves, or is nasty to him I tell her fimly NO.

Me and her mum are so close though that we can both do it to each others’ kids wherever we are hehe.
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