What do you think is the best way to discipline children without spanking or hitting?


Wow, 34 answers and no stars. It seems like an interesting question.

I am also not talking about correcting a "specific" behavior so much as I am talking about discipline in general.

Anyway, I will keep reading, thanks for all the answers. (Even though I can tell some of them are jokes)

parents are the best role model for their kids. you should show them good example when they was young. best of luck!

Comments (34)

therundown2k3November 28th, 2009 at 12:12 pm

don’t feed them
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sugarNovember 28th, 2009 at 1:00 pm

time out
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bombhausNovember 28th, 2009 at 1:13 pm

Time out or naughty bench (being taken away from whatever enjoyable activity) works well a lot of times.
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SusanNovember 28th, 2009 at 1:49 pm

Can you please give an example of the behavior you are trying to modify?
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redyoshi125November 28th, 2009 at 2:21 pm

Telling them to sit in a corner for 5 minutes wont help much. You need to try to teach them that what they are doing is wrong, and why it is.
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Jessica MNovember 28th, 2009 at 2:35 pm

take something away
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KatieKNovember 28th, 2009 at 3:05 pm

Time out or restriction of favorite toys.
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ZukaNovember 28th, 2009 at 3:24 pm

Send them to your parents house.
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KikiNovember 28th, 2009 at 3:47 pm

take away their stuff like going outside,computer,T.V,spending time with friends,etc.
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serser92695November 28th, 2009 at 4:24 pm

grounded
even though they
would really hate it
i now i would.
HEHEHEHE
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whsswimNovember 28th, 2009 at 4:52 pm

there isn’t one – if you don’t spank your kids they’ll never learn

please don’t be one of those parents that lets their kids rule over them
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John WNovember 28th, 2009 at 5:09 pm

mental abuse…your children should think twice before reckoning with you
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casandra xNovember 28th, 2009 at 5:53 pm

Long and boaring preachings and maybe some isolation and teachings of what the real world is like.
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Erin MNovember 28th, 2009 at 6:19 pm

No kid likes to be hit. trust me. Maybe you should talk to them ( not yelling) tell them what they are doing wrong and explain why its bad. Maybe they will learn from their mistakes

bye
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N TNovember 28th, 2009 at 7:00 pm

give them really long lectures about what they have done. make it really boring
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synda72November 28th, 2009 at 7:21 pm

Read the Supernanny book or watch the shows. Another good one is How To Discipline Your Strong Willed Child. Spanking or hitting your child is only teaching them that it’s okay to spank and hit.
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~?jess?~November 28th, 2009 at 7:37 pm

parents are the best role model for their kids. you should show them good example when they was young. best of luck!
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Promised AttitudeNovember 28th, 2009 at 7:56 pm

Good old remedies depending on age. 1) Standing in the corner to think about their actions, 2) Writing a few paragraphs describing thier actions and why…
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operation_caring2006November 28th, 2009 at 8:13 pm

stand them in the corner, give them a time out away from other children, set them down and explain to them why you separated them in the first place , or set there and have a one on one talk with the child, and ask why they misbehavin’, maybe theres a good reason behind the behavier. good luck
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Stacey PNovember 28th, 2009 at 8:38 pm

Time out or try taking away their toys, but actually do it and give them to a charity.
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shankaran. hNovember 28th, 2009 at 8:45 pm

Try to tell the child that what the child wants to do is correct and tell the child that you are trying to do exactly the same way. In the process you can change the attention of the child the way you want. Always give the impression to the child that he/is right and correct and then you pretend to do the same in appreciation. In the process of your action you can easily change the course.
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My granddaughter used to stamp her right foot when she wanted to express anger. I told her that I can express the same only with the left leg and she can convey this to me by stamping with her left foot. She tried, was not successful and stopped the stamping when she sees my lifting the left leg.

ksta72November 28th, 2009 at 9:22 pm

Parenting with Love and Logic. It works beautifully. Good luck :)

http://www.loveandlogic.com/faq.html#whatis
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mom of 5, preschool teacher

http://www.loveandlogic.com/faq.html#whatis

f1mudvayne29November 28th, 2009 at 10:12 pm

It is best to encourage good behavior by acknowledging their efforts. The bad behavior has to be enough of a disapproval that they will not want to continue in that way. It is meant to teach them to make good choices for themselves and sometimes the punishment has to be appropriately given. I am a firm believer in promptness and consistency in discipline. Always remember it is to teach the right way to do things not vent frustrations.
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Carol TNovember 28th, 2009 at 10:27 pm

First, identify what was done wrong. Explain why it was wrong. Begin with Loss of Privelege appropriate to the wrongful action and to the age.
For older children, the loss of priveleges should be harsher as they are to know what is expected of them by you and the difference between right and wrong has been established.
Raising your voice, and yelling and screaming will only accomplish them not coming to you for BIG problems. It also will only get them to zone out and think about something else with the attitude that, "Great. Another lecture."
If you threaten them to be grounded, do it and make them stick to it to the end. It sets a bad example that they only have to be good for a little while and then they can go back to getting into trouble.
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saraNovember 28th, 2009 at 11:10 pm

It depends on the age and developmental stage of the child.

Personally for younger children I prefer a time out. Set a timer, the general rule is one minute per year of age. Tell them what they did and why it was wrong.

Older children grounding, take away privileges and stick to it. Don’t let them talk you into giving in. You could even give them extra chores for a day or two. Even when they’re older you still have to explain what they did and why it way wrong.

Don’t forget to reward the good things they do. It can be something as simple as verbally praising them.
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maguilartNovember 28th, 2009 at 11:36 pm

Talk… explain why what he/she did was wrong… there is a higher chance they will listen to you than be scared of you.
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Summer ANovember 29th, 2009 at 12:24 am

Time outs and taking away of privileges. Such as, now you can’t play on the computer etc. However, make sure you are consistent and follow through with your punishments or the child won’t take your warnings seriously.
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tercentenary98November 29th, 2009 at 1:00 am

We use physical training or extra home work.
Neither one of them are bad for you or kids. If anything, they become stronger, faster, and more agile. Extra home work makes them that much smarter.
People disagree with us a lot though because they feel it’s easier to strike a child than to find something productive. Time outs just tell the child that as soon as their time is up they can do it again.
I don’t mind people disliking me for it. But I don’t have bullying, mouthy, stuck up kids either.
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MaggieNovember 29th, 2009 at 1:42 am

It’s age specific and even situation specific, but with our 4 yr old we first put her in time out for a few minutes so she (and sometimes we) can calm down, then explain why it was wrong and have her explain it back to us in her own words so we know she got and didn’t just tune us out.
If it’s something like taking a toy away from the baby, we take one away from her or ask her if she would like having it done to her.
We also take away her favorite things, like her bedtime story, dessert, her TV time, or even sometimes reduce her bedtime in 10 minute increments if she’s really bad. If you follow through on the threats, it will get to the point where all you have to say is "if you do that, you’ll be punished" and they stop.
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AmyNovember 29th, 2009 at 1:52 am

Maybe along with finding ways to discipline your child you could take this approach.

Find a shoebox. Get green and red construction paper and cut them into strips. Explain to them that when they do something good (doing things the first time they are told, sharing; basically anything they do that’s positive where it used to be negative) a green strip of paper goes into the shoe box. When they break the rules, disobey, throw a tantrum and so forth a red strip goes into the box. At the end of the week you count the strips and if there are more green then you do something fun. It helps if you decide before hand what the reward is so they know what they are working toward. But don’t threaten them with it. They need to know it’s up to them yo earn it.

My mom used a penny jars. One for me. One for my brother. Every time we did something positive (like putting our dishes in the dishwasher without being told) we got a penny. And on the fridge was a list of rewards and we could see how may pennies we needed to save for the different prizes (slurpees, stickers, hot wheels car etc.)

Or the classic stars on the calender.

Point is, giving your children something to work for that requires them to change their behavior might be of some help.
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vicky kNovember 29th, 2009 at 2:17 am

Find the book: Love and Logic. its an easy read, and its all about disciplining your children without spanking.
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victoria oNovember 29th, 2009 at 3:01 am

i don’t believe in spanking at all so try taking away there t.v if they have 1 in there room, take away a favorite toy, sitting on a naughty step or chair, ground them, there are lots of things you could do instead of spanking.
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neptune032701November 29th, 2009 at 3:08 am

Time out is a great tool, but it needs to be followed up with "why." My 5 year old gets time out for 5 minutes or until she stops yelling/whining/crying and can behave herself again (which usually lasts longer…lol). After she is calm again then we talk about why what she did was wrong and what she could do different next time. It helps if she can come up with the reasons and solutions on her own. Another useful technique is to take away privleges, especially if the punishment can be directly linked to the offense. For example, if she throws a toy it goes into "daddy’s" toy box. She can earn those toys back one at a time for every day that she is good (no time outs) all day.
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xxlatinamami13November 29th, 2009 at 3:41 am

Dont let him/her watch T.v for a day or take what he likes away. Or Make him do Home work
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