How did you come about your parenting style? Were you influenced by your own parents? Did you just test techniques to see what worked/didn’t work?
How did you come about your parenting style?
Discipline
Self Discipline
How did you come about your parenting style? Were you influenced by your own parents? Did you just test techniques to see what worked/didn’t work?
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#1 by Justsyd on October 10th, 2011
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I did everything that I wanted my parents to do (but they didn’t) and it worked great.
#2 by rwl_is_taken on October 10th, 2011
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was raised in a very violent enviorment, so I strove to be more understanding and talk to my child instead of hitting.
#3 by limgrn_maria on October 10th, 2011
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I started off horribly.. I was a yeller and screamer .. I had no patience and had too high of expectations … Over time, I relaxed. I still raised my voice, but my expectations are with limits now and my patience has grown tremendously..
I think what helped the most was seeing other “bad” parents and noticing when I may have done some of those same things, recognized it and changed it immediately..
Now I know i am doing a great job and it shows in my child’s intelligence, kindness and generosity..
#4 by curious51867 on October 10th, 2011
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My parenting style came from my mother as she and I share the same values. I believe that parenting comes from an array of influences such as your parents and friends of whom you have admiration and respect.
Don’t worry, your style will come instintively based on values and the influences of those you wish to emulate.
Good luck!
#5 by Marty G on October 10th, 2011
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E – yes to all above.
#6 by petrel on October 10th, 2011
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Just use what works. There is no particular style which will suit every child.
#7 by jmlmmlmll on October 10th, 2011
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I changed just about everything that my parents did.
I was so young when I started having kids that I just sort of winged it at first. Eventually I just sort of fell into the kind of parent that I am.
#8 by brownimomy on October 10th, 2011
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me partner and I talked about it and agreed on things and came to mutual decisions on things we didn’t agree on and we also went with personal experience on how our parents raised us and whether or not we agrred with it or wanted to change things. we also thought of new things and new ways to do things.
#9 by Shannyp on October 10th, 2011
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My parenting style came alone. i didn’t have a mom growing up so everything i know about parenting comes from reading, doctors, tv, and hands on experience.
#10 by Tockers57 on October 10th, 2011
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My child died when he was only 2. I had little chance to develop one. It was the most devastating thing that has ever happened in my life. Will not risk that hurt again.
#11 by Sarifynna on October 11th, 2011
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I took everything my parents did, and did the opposite…
#12 by GJ on October 11th, 2011
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Trial and error to start with. Found a good book about childhood emotional developement that helped me understand what I was up against. This made them easier to manage and satisfy.
We are all influenced by our parents. I have worked hard not to be my Dad. He’s an intellectual genius and emotionally a child.
#13 by Ryan's mom on October 11th, 2011
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Some stuff I picked up from my parents, but I try not to treat my son like my parents treated us 4 kids. They were not very comforting, and they tended to call us names like stupid, and I am NOT going to do that to my children. I had 3 miscarriages before having my son and he almost died when he was born so I am lucky to have him and I want him to feel loved.
#14 by Nikki on October 11th, 2011
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I used what I wanted my child to be as a guide. For instance, I want her to learn patience, so I tell her she has to wait until everyone is finished dinner to have dessert. I want her to have confidence, so I teach her to dress and undress herself, and let her go through the motions herself, unaided. Verbal praise all the way!! I want her to respect herself, so I teach her to speak up in defence, when kid’s are cutting her in line at the park, she’ll say “it’s my turn”.
Since she’s started school, the obstacles are new. And I’ll be adapting to them anytime now!! I think that putting your mindset back to their age helps you realize what little they actually know, and how important it is that you guide them.
Trust yourself. And NEVER give in!!
#15 by kar_summers on October 11th, 2011
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I read books about how to be a good parent. My parents were not good parents. My children are good kids and love me.
#16 by tinker143 on October 11th, 2011
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my husband and I had terrible parents and we didnt want to put our kids thru anything like what we had to go thru…we make sure our kids know they are loved and cared for not by doing things but by showing them with affection and love… we always tell our kids how much we appreciate them and complement them a lot…we also make sure we discipline them not punish them there’s a difference…we explain to them why they are in trouble why they are grounded etc…we dont tell them no without giving a reason…then they know their boundaries….we never talk down to them nor do we yell at them well sometimes LOL…but we make sure we remain calm and have self control…we are the models for them and have to show them what a prosperous well adjusted adult is supposed to be….we pray with our kids and hold bible studies as well…we have 8 kids ages 21- 18 months and all of them are great kids and we are so proud of all them…my life would never be complete without one of our beautiful children….we are so blessed to have them in our lives…
#17 by atheleticman_fan on October 11th, 2011
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Late nights at Kmart-!!watching how other parents screamed and bribed their unruly offspring.LOL ..decided to read and read…hang out with people who DID handle kids well and listen to how they talked with their kids. When I was looking for daycare there happened to be a Montessori school near by and I put mine there. The teachers were so mellow and sweet I spent lots of time hanging around and listening. If I had just done what I was raised with..my kids would have run away, I’m sure!
#18 by bootaboutit on October 11th, 2011
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When I was growing up, kids were seen & not heard, & you speak when spoken to. With my kids I made sure that they were allowed to have an opinion, right or wrong, they are entitled to it. I was very open and honest with my kids about everything, and I answered all thier questions honestly (age appropriate). I explained my reasons for punishments or for saying no to something, I followed through with punishments too, that’s very important. We had fun, and lots of hugs too. Love em lots!
#19 by murkymom on October 11th, 2011
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i was adopted so i did everything they didn’t do like show me love on daily basis and even though me and my husband are divorced he’s still a constant in their lives no child should ever feel abandoned so yeah i was influenced by my parents
#20 by medevilqueen on October 11th, 2011
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I was single and 16 on my own, I knew my parents did a good job, but I wanted and do have a more open relationship with my kids, we talk about everything and I always let them know that I am here and they can tell me anything, if they don’t feel like talking sometimes I bring it up first and if they don’t answer i let it be, but I think just having them know that I know what kids go through and do gives them a sense of being more open with me. My kids can talk to me about anything and I will not judge them or put them down.
#21 by happy to be me on October 11th, 2011
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Iasked advice from other people and used some skills my parents did with me. It all depends on the situation.
#22 by Becky C on October 11th, 2011
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I now pretty much do the same as my own parents with my individual twists.
When I went to college I decided as a result of the pscychology and education classes that my parents were too strict–especially in that they spanked.
However, after I had my own–I decided they were not so stupid and old fashioned as I thought. And so a lot of things I do (and yes–including spanking) are the same as them.
Of course, I have had my own experiences with my own children and this has given me different views on some things than my parents had.
I have also read parenting books. But I do this very critically–as I do with any type of opinion I read. I have gathered a few good ideas there–but it is far from a dominant influence.
#23 by olschoolmom on October 11th, 2011
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Both, When I was a child I swore I would be different then my parents, how ever, after seeing with my own eyes how bad society has become I fell right back into the company line.
#24 by silverthorn73 on October 11th, 2011
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I watched my older siblings raise their children and decided I was not going to do it their way.
I don’t have a perfect child but at least I can take him anywhere and hes well mannered and respectful.