- ISBN13: 9780756639938
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Product Description
For parents who wonder whether controlled crying is best or if constant cuddling is better, here is a clear explanation of the science of parenting styles and their effects on children’s brain development. Ground-breaking research in the late twentieth century delved into the neuroscience behind child rearing, and this book is the first to explain those theories to parents of toddlers in a clear, engaging form. AUTHOR BIO: Margot Sunderland is Director of Education… More >>
#1 by JonesCarter on September 17th, 2010
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I just bought this book a few days ago, and completely adore it. There are quite a few child-rearing styles out there, from attachment to Ferberizing, and new parents can feel completely overwhelmed with the anecdotes and ‘expert advice’ thrown their way from every side– especially when they don’t know what effect any of those tactics will have on their little one.
This book clears up the mystery by providing scientific research on how an infant’s brain is affected by his/her early experiences with you (the parent); namely, it demonstrates that how you respond to the baby’s emotions/needs is the biggest component in how they view themselves and the world– both at the time and decades later, well into adulthood. As the introduction notes, for many years “we have been using child-rearing techniques without awareness of the possible long-term effects, because until now we simply could not see the effects of our actions on a child’s developing brain. But with the advances of neuroscience, brain scans, and years of research on the brains of primates and other mammals, we no longer have the innocence of ignorance. For several years, science has been revealing to us that key emotional systems in the human brain are powerfully molded for better or worse by parenting experiences.”
The serious subject matter might make you worry it’s more of a textbook than anything else– but don’t be fooled. The layout of the book makes it exceedingly easy to read and digest, and the photos (which are numerous) are nice and colorful. There are also lots of sidebars and little nuggets of information scattered throughout the pages, which breaks the text up and makes it even easier to read.
All in all, this is a top-notch parenting guide, and I say this as someone who owns a LOT of child-rearing books! If I could give “The Science of Parenting” 10 stars, I would.
Rating: 5 / 5
#2 by J. Giles on September 17th, 2010
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I found this book on the discount shelf, and I am so glad that I did! As a trained molecular biologist, I appreciate the author’s ability to explain development of neuronal pathways in a way that anyone can understand.
I absolutely disagree with the reviewers who indicate that the author excessively asserts her personal opinion. I did not find that to be true at all. In any case, shouldn’t people value the opinion of a trained child therapist? Not to mention, this book is not short; are you telling me one should base one’s opinion of an entire book on a tiny section regarding the length of time out? That is ludicrous.
Regarding a lack of science, I think the reference section allays any fear of that. Maybe the other reviewers missed that part, or maybe they are not used to reading technical, scientific style writing. I can only guess. The fact that the reference section is so extensive is part of why I love this book so much!
There is a TON of useful information in this book, but the most important take-home point is that parents must always respond to their babies distress, ALWAYS. Response does not mean the child gets what he or she wants all the time: response means that you help the child deal with his/her emotions. Stress reduction pathways are formed so early in life, and once a child reaches 2 or 3, it is too late to reverse the damage that inattentive parenting can cause. Let’s face it, as parents we have a responsibility to our children, like it or not. Wouldn’t you rather have the information you need to do your very best for your kids?
You don’t have to be a scientist to understand how important this information is.
Rating: 5 / 5
#3 by Rex on September 17th, 2010
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As a psychoanalyst I find this book fascinating, not only in terms of parenting my own kids, but in terms of the wider issues of promoting emotional health and well-being. The book gives a solid scientific backing to my responding to my kids’ distress, rather than being told I am just indulgent and spoiling. It has also helped me to avoid getting into a submission/dominance clash over tantrums and to realise when one should concede with grace with a child who is distraught and furious in his failure to get through and emotionally connect with his parent. Of course there is a difference between this and a pure battle of wills with an older child who needs to be taught that Mummy is boss, and where clear boundaries are vital to make him feel safe. The book has also helped me to avoid shaming responses and to acknowledge what Margaret Mahler calls “emotional re-fuelling” ( that time in the playground when they just need to come back to base again, to say hello.) It has also helped me appreciate the scientific validity for the fact that the seemingly contented infant can actually be the infant who has given up. What’s the point of screaming for help, if no one comes? The book is not about the all giving, long-suffering resentful mother. This does nothing for the self- esteem of the child. Rather the book speaks of the vital importance of parent care and the science supporting this.
I am full of admiration for the author’s patience and thoroughness in collating this vast array of up to date neuroscientific research studies which focus mainly on parent- child interaction. (As these references are all at the back of the book, parents don’t need to refer to them, but I am sure they will be a vital resource for mental health professionals!)
As a practicing psychoanalyst, I believe that alongside attachment theory, this book also has real implications for treatment. The book allays mental health professionals the opportunity to integrate their various theories of the primary importance of relationships in the first few years of life, and how these can have long term effects on the key emotional systems in the child’s brain.
This book is about prevention. I think it should be read not only by parents but by child care professionals and those working in the field of mental health.
Rating: 5 / 5
#4 by J. Gordon on September 18th, 2010
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As a first time mom of a 2 month girl, I recommend this book to every parent, new or experienced. I have a lot of parenting books, and a lot of people suggesting how I raise my daughter. This is the first book that has scientific evidence backing up how you should raise your child. From stress chemicals flooding your baby’s brain when you let them “cry to sleep” to disciplining, to not letting them watch too much tv because their brain gets used to laziness. I absolutely love this book because now when someone tells me how to do something, I can simply quote this book with real facts, and not just how I feel about it. I can not say enough how much I love this book and I’m only in the first few chapters! Just wait till I’ve read the whole thing, I will feel like a parenting expert! It all makes perfect sense, the book is easy to read. Everything is explained and they apply all their findings to real life situations. This book should be given out by the hospitals when they discharge new babies. It is definitely worth the $25. BUY IT!!!!
Rating: 5 / 5
#5 by M. Mego on September 18th, 2010
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I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who has questions about parenting. It’s a very insightful and helpful read..covering every topic. I would definitely suggest every new parent purchase this book or if you are a parent and know someone who will soon be a parent, it makes a great gift!
Rating: 5 / 5