Discipline

2 Comments

• #1 by storm_bringer_005 on November 14th, 2010

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  Create good work habits. Stay with something until you either finish it, or reach a good “stopping point” for the day, and then go back to it again. Make a good “to-do” list. Cut out the excuses you make for yourself, and make your own commitments. Get organized so you have a good workspace to get your projects done. Howzat?

• #2 by katerbecker on November 14th, 2010

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  Here is an excerpt from an article which talks about research into self-discipline:

  “The value of early mastery of self-discipline was cited in a recent column by David Brooks in The New York Times, about Dr Walter Mischel’s celebrated “marshmallow” research at Stanford University between 1968 and 1974.

  Mischel put a series of four-year-olds alone in a room and put a marshmallow in front of each child, saying they could either have it then or wait until he came back and have two marshmallows later. One-third of the children grabbed the treat as soon as the researcher left the room. The others fidgeted, covered their eyes with their hands, sang to themselves as they struggled not to eat the marshmallow as they waited as long as 15 minutes.

  In follow-up studies, Mischel found the children who had been able to delay gratification were more successful academically, were more popular and had higher emotional intelligence, while the impatient ones were more likely to become bullies and have drug problems by age 32.

  The point Brooks makes is that self-discipline is a better indicator of future success than IQ – and it can be learned.

  But to learn self-discipline, children need to have stable secure environments, to be able to trust that the future will be predictable, good behaviour will be rewarded and adults will keep their word.”

  I don’t know how old you are. Obviously if you are/were in an unstable parent/child relationship then you can begin to know why you struggle so.

  I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I suggest that you try to be your “own” stability as much as possible. Try to hook yourself in with a stable relationship–I don’t mean romantic. Maybe a job with a boss who is reliable, keeps his/her word, has expectations and recognizes you when you meet/exceed those expectations. Or a volunteer situation with someone that you can look up to. The idea is to team up with someone successful. Start with humility (humble yourself.) You don’t have to tell them what you are attempting to do. Use it as an occasion to challenge yourself. Once you begin having successes, you will reap the reward that comes from patience, care, perseverance and diligence; self confidence.

  True self-confidence is hard won, but it will help in guiding you toward the RIGHT kinds of risks, “high yield” risks instead of self-destructive ones. This will bring the right kind of relationships your way, both personally and professionally.

  This is a long process, by the way, but worth it. There are no short cuts to making it personally and professionally.