My 2 boys are getting picked on my 8 year old stands up for his self but my 10 year old wont….My boyfreind told me to put them in Martial Arts but i really dont know if this will be the right way…Any advise….
The right school will definitely teach discipline and help break that ice on being afraid to stand up for them selves.
The RIGHT school though will not make aggressive attackers out of them though. They must know when it is o.k. and not o.k. to defend themselves. A time and place for everything.
So yes Martial arts would highly help them with discipline and the techniques will be useful against others their age but not so well against adults so you know until they are older. MOST have their kids join for discipline.
most schools teach you to fight so you do not have to fight and hopefully that is what you can find, one that gives you the discipline to give them the not only support but the self confidence you say the 10 year old is lacking.
It is the same reason I joined MA when i was almost 6 because of similar problems, now 31 years later i am a teacher and now help other kids as I was once.
Their are also other ways to if you do not like the martial arts schools in your area, their is always boxing, wrestling, the most important thing is make sure you feel safe with your kids there and you can tell by sitting in and watching a class or so and see how the other kids are and the teacher.
good luck
#1 by rex on October 31st, 2009
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its not just about how to fight but when to fight.
and if it comes to that how to get your point made.
it well get your boys stronger to!
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#2 by emptywun on October 31st, 2009
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Martial arts will teach them confidence and patience, improve their balance, flexibility and coordination….and if worst comes to worst they will have the skills necessary to defend themselves. It’s really a great thing for anyone of any age, not just the kids.
The trick is finding the right school that you’re comfortable with and your kids enjoy. If they get bored with it after the first month you will have wasted money on membership plus uniforms, sparring equipment, etc.. It also helps if it’s something the boys are interested in to begin with.
Hope this helps!
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#3 by Reds on October 31st, 2009
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It will teach them disipline. For good fighting technique it may be hard to say. The boys are young and I know that the students that I teach that young would be able to defend themselves better but not nessisarily be able to stand up for them selves better. That would take a little longer as they learn to be confident in them selves.
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#4 by Zeo on October 31st, 2009
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The thing with martial arts is that it will teach discipline and self control. Some people just join to learn to hurt people while some learn to help other people in need of protecting. It would be a good thing to put your kids in but only if you think it will teach them what they should learn and not what it shouldn’t. Their your kids so you have to choose.
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#5 by devinlw40 on October 31st, 2009
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Shelly
Let me try and help, my wife and I taught martial arts for kids together. We our youngest class was five yeas old and we saw it, built confidence and self-esteem to stand up to bullies as well as self-discipline when to use it properly. We had parents tell us there was more respect, concentration and courtesy had been developed .
Many martial arts schools also offer leadership training and good grade programs for kids, in conjunction with their for kids programs.
Many do not realize this, but it is a fact that martial arts training are safer than most school sports.
Children with special needs, such as ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), learning difficulties and hyperactivity are often recommended to participate in martial arts for kids because of the clear benefits in its structured training techniques.
Laura Saunders shares the following that I agree with 100% "…Here’s a quick primer on the kid-friendly martial arts training you’re likely to find:
Martial Arts From Japan
Karate
• Uses defensive and aggressive moves
• Centers on building strength and endurance
• Involves chops, punches, kicks, strikes, blocking and sparring
• May use weapons
Aikido
• Uses a more “spiritual” and harmonious style in redirecting the aggression of the attacker as the form of defense, using throws, pins, rolls etc.
• Taught on the premise of disabling an aggressor without attacking, through your individual inner energy
• Does not involve sparring or competitions
Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu
• Uses gentle, “wrestling-like” movements
• Considered one of the safest methods of martial arts
• Emphasizes physical control as well as mental development
• Engages in competitions
Kung-Fu
• The generic term referring to Chinese martial arts with a variety of styles
• Involves attack movements as well as defensive techniques
• Teaches kicks, punches, chops, throws, falls, grappling, katas, leg sweeps and blows among others.
• Engages in sparring competitions
Taekwondo
• Competitive in nature, involves techniques using elaborate footwork and unique high kicks.
• Emphasizes strength, force and attack methods.
• Engages in lots of sparring and competitions.
Choosing the school And Teacher
If you have an idea of the type of martial arts class you’d like your child to participate in, the next step would be to find the right school. Finding the right class that not only matches your child’s and your needs, in terms of teachers you feel comfortable with, the price, facilities and so on, are all important factors.
Say you’ve found a local place that specializes in Karate for Kids. What are the things you should look for?
1. Good Instructors
Check out their qualifications, teaching methods and watch carefully how they interact with the other children. It should be a fun learning experience!
2. Space and Safety
Obviously you would want to entrust your child in as establishment that is safe, well-maintained, and clean with ample space as well as decent facilities and equipment.
3. School Values
Different martial arts schools inevitably go by different values, for instance, one kid’s karate class may handle aggression in one way, while a judo class would have a different approach. Take some time to observe which school’s ideals match your family’s principles.
4. Prices and Schedules
Prices for martial arts training can vary according to school and location, so make sure you the instruction you choose represents fair value. Finding the most effective way to fit martial arts training into your family’s lifestyle is also essential, knowing what works best with your schedule and other activities.
Starting your child young in karate training is ideal (children as young as the age of four are usually accepted, as it is also a good way to hone fine motor skills), and lots of parents have found that in as little as a year, their children who were involved in martial arts had noticeably gained positive traits such as increased self-esteem, respect and overall physical fitness.
Humbly,
Devin Willis
References :
# 3 Reasons Why Your Kids Should Be In Martial Arts by Steffen Kellogg
http://ezinearticles.com/?3-Reasons-Why-Your-Kids-Should-Be-In-Martial-Arts&id=697307
Benefits of Martial Arts Training For Kids
By Laura Saunders -mother of two, and a martial arts practitioner
http://ezinearticles.com/?Benefits-of-Martial-Arts-Training-For-Kids&id=52697
Choosing the Best Martial Arts Style
By Eddie Maclean
http://ezinearticles.com/?Choosing-the-Best-Martial-Arts-Style&id=690840
#6 by Justin on October 31st, 2009
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When I was 8 years old, I started karate classes. Little did I know at the time, I was learning something more than physical self defense.
When I started, it was basically because my best friend started – he and I would sleep over at each other’s houses and whatnot so I figured why not check out this class he’s taking too?
Both of us were bullied (just like most of us to varying extents) but after a few years, it pretty much stopped. You might say it was because we were, at that point, ‘mature’ 10 year olds, but what does maturity mean for a 10 year old? It means more creativity in how the bullying plays out, not that you’ve grown beyond that.
Anyway… I think the difference was in our attitudes. We are told to turn the other cheek and laugh it off right? However, when you turn the other cheek but are still scared, you have just asked for more – you are playing the victim physically. Similarly, when you laugh it off but are inside seething with anger or hurt feelings, you are playing the victim emotionally.
What changed in us, I think was that when we turned the other cheek, we did so not out of symbolism or to be insulting, but because we really weren’t worried. When we laughed it off, it wasn’t because we were playing a part or because we or as an attempt to throw it back, it was because we really thought it was funny (in the sense of ‘man, this dude really is that ridiculous.’)
The defensive reaction (physically, emotionally and mentally) changed from something bullies feed on to something they find distasteful.
Fast forward 20 years (or so) and now both of us continue our training. I practice Aikido now and he still does Karate but has dabbled with Shaolin Kung Fu.
Either way, its all about confidence. Its not about winning a fight that starts, its about presenting yourself as someone who is not an easy target. This doesn’t mean to stand toe to toe and see who has the biggest growl. Its more about not being the person who bullies target. Its about being sure enough that when someone stands toe to toe with you that you really aren’t worried (even if you should be). Its about the smile in response to the growl being sincere rather than a bad b movie acting job everyone can see through.
You can learn to act…. but people see through that… or you can learn to actually feel what you present and have what you present be a calm, no matter what happens, the other person is responcible attitude.
To use a blunt and physical metaphor, the bully chooses to be responcible for their own broken arm or chooses to be held responcible and held accountable for your broken arm through what they do. The attitude is one where you send that message to a mugger, a bully automatically simply by walking down the street. The normal person doesn’t mind at all – they aren’t looking to do you harm. However, the mugger will take notice of a head calm and relaxed held high and avoid it vs. a nervous head looking at the ground with slumped shoulders. You don’t say it with words – your body language, as dictated by your mental state has said it louder than words already.
Its hard – some people are born like that and other struggle to learn, but if you do, and learn right, (ie – taking classes doesn’t give you license for revenge) you won’t be a bully and you won’t be a target for a bully either… be it on the playground or in the boardroom.
If martial arts training, or anything else for that matter cultivates that attitude (confidence, not arrogance, calm and relaxed rather than poised to strike at the first opportunity), that will solve the problem, but it doesn’t happen overnight.
References :
If you give nobody a reason to target you, you have nothing to worry about – whether you are Bruce Lee or Ghandi.
Respect from and for others is the result rather than the cause of respect for yourself.
14 years formal Karate and Aikido training as well as teaching kids the same age as your sons.
A number of the people I went to school with that I didn’t think I was good enough to talk to I grew to realize were in reality good enough to talk to me… metaphorically speaking. These people are still my close friends.
When I was 10, they picked on me, Then 15 years later, I was asked and was honored to stand up in/witness their weddings.
Now they have kids and the cycle continues…
I’d have never fathomed that when I was 10.
#7 by A THINKER on October 31st, 2009
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This is good for not only discipline and self defense but,Martial Arts will give them courage ,self esteem.Which ever style or DO_JO you take them too make sure the Sensei is an actual member of the USKA,or ISKA,or some nationally recognized system so you don’t get ripped off.This will be a good learning experience for your boys ,good luck,and welcome to the world of Karate.
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#8 by Rob B on October 31st, 2009
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As an instructor, don’t expect the lessons they learn from martial arts classes to be some kind of magic pill unless they are reinforced at home. I’ve had plenty of students who are brats when they arrive and, even as much as 2 years later, are still brats because the lessons we teach are not reinforced by the parents. We only have them a couple of hours a week, you need to work with them the rest of the time.
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#9 by Wolf on October 31st, 2009
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The right school will definitely teach discipline and help break that ice on being afraid to stand up for them selves.
The RIGHT school though will not make aggressive attackers out of them though. They must know when it is o.k. and not o.k. to defend themselves. A time and place for everything.
So yes Martial arts would highly help them with discipline and the techniques will be useful against others their age but not so well against adults so you know until they are older. MOST have their kids join for discipline.
most schools teach you to fight so you do not have to fight and hopefully that is what you can find, one that gives you the discipline to give them the not only support but the self confidence you say the 10 year old is lacking.
It is the same reason I joined MA when i was almost 6 because of similar problems, now 31 years later i am a teacher and now help other kids as I was once.
Their are also other ways to if you do not like the martial arts schools in your area, their is always boxing, wrestling, the most important thing is make sure you feel safe with your kids there and you can tell by sitting in and watching a class or so and see how the other kids are and the teacher.
good luck
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Sensei & Historian
#10 by spidertiger440 on October 31st, 2009
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The arts may help. Even if the child attends class they still need the inner desire to learn or they are just imitating.
It can’t hurt to try but be selective of the schools. Never sign a contract and never pay for rank testing. Find a clean school with respectful people. Observe classes and take free classes.
The problem with your child may need additional therapy outside of the arts if the child has a self-confidence issue. He needs to find an activity that is constructive, he enjoys and he has pride in.
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14yrs training
#11 by crystal_landsiedel19@yahoo.com on October 31st, 2009
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It will help your boys. But it depends on what martial arts they will get into. At my Taekwondo school, I am in class with a 8 and 10
year old boys they love it.
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#12 by Lewis D on October 31st, 2009
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That’s a very good idea because martial arts not only teaches self-confidence, but it also teaches to avoid fighting.
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#13 by Donna on October 31st, 2009
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don’t do it unless your boys have an interest in it, because looking at it from a childs point of view, if they’re made to do it will seem more like a chore to them, and you can’t learn how to deal with a full on fight overnight. it takes time. it will help in the long run of course but the enthusiasm for it has to come from them. some martial arts kids get into like tae kwon do, karate, judo etc can be too choreographed for your sons situation. to an 8 – 10 year old, a bully who isn’t attacking him the way his instructor demonstrates an attack would throw him off and in that split second he’ll lose concentration and confidence in one go. that’s more unfair to the child. if they were 14-15 they would expect the unexpected and be proactive, mix and match the defense moves….
…talk to your children, see what they think would help, how do they want to end the bullying?
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#14 by war on October 31st, 2009
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it will give them confidence tht is all they need they dont need to show tht they can fight if they kno they can they wont need to tht will shurely help
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#15 by mission on October 31st, 2009
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Devinlw40 —put my thoughts into words see his post good job explaining everything, and to answer the question martial arts is the best possible thing for boys or girls that age. for confidence, self-discipline,ambition,goal setting, self-defense,and most of all respect….do a lot of research before you make the decision… Good luck
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#16 by Ken C on October 31st, 2009
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Sorry to hear about your concerns and about the tough time your kids are having.
While there are never any guarantees, having your kids train in the martial arts with a quality instructor, in a quality environment can do wonders for them on so many different levels that I’d have to wholeheartedly agree with your boyfriend.
Martial arts training for 8 to 10 year olds is not really designed to teach them to be a good fighter – far from it – it’s designed to teach them to be a good person, a good student, a good human being. It teaches them about themselves, about their own qualities, about toughness they may not realize they have to overcome difficulties.
The bottom line is, martial arts at that age is deigned to provide kids with some excellent life skills and tools that should help them with the rest of their lives. Will it help with the bullying – it may. They should be more self-confident, more able to shug off insults and attempts to goad them into conflicts. They should have more tools to use to combat bullying without having to get physical.
Many schools will focus on bullying and anti-gang concepts as a part of a very diverse curriculum that will teach them many, many valuable lessons.
Check out the schools in your area and talk with the instructor/s there. Tell them your concerns and ask them for their advice. You’ll know when you find the right one. You’ll feel comfortable, encouraged, and energized to get your kids into the school.
Good luck!
Ken C
9th Dan HapMoosaKi-Do
8th Dan TaeKwon-Do
7th Dan YongChul-Do
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