My son is a child who is very outgoing, very determined and very active. He is constantly exploring and checking things out, thus he gets into EVERYTHING. I do allow alot of things that are safe for him to experiment with, however, he has now moved into the hitting and kicking stage for some reason. I do not like the spanking idea, and "No" doesnt seem to work anymore. He is extremely head strong and wants what he wants…period. I dont think timeout is appropriate now, as he doesnt really know what it is. So, I am asking for other alternate discipline ideas other than spanking. Any advice will be appreciated. Thanks in advance.
When he kicks or hits and is told no, he will do it again immediately as soon as his hands or feet are turned loose. (I hold his hands or feet when I say no). Its like he is doing it just for spite at times. How is this possible for a child so young?
Also, when i tell him no…..I use a very stern voice when I do. So, what am I doing wrong?
I am against spanking, but I do pop or smack my daughters thighs or hands when she hits and kicks, etcetera. I sternly tell her no (she is 15 months old tomorrow) and I also do timeout. She understands that she is in trouble and that she does not move until mommy says so as this is her time to cool down. I explain to her what is going on and she picks it up quickly. I do not automatically smack or anything, I tell her no first, then I try the timeout (As it is also my time to cool down), then if that doesn’t work I try the popping. I honestly may be more stern than you though, so you have to find your own way of establishing yourself as the dominant person in every situation. You have to find what makes him respect your authority as a parent and an adult.
Good luck!
#1 by proudmum.2boys on October 1st, 2009
Quote
my son always responds when I tell him no. he’ll fuss and get frustrated and angry, but he generally stops what he’s doing. he’s also not very violent, though occasionally throws a toy at the cat and tries to slap us in the face. I give him timeouts. I tell him that if he’s going to fuss like that, that must mean its time for a nap…so I take him to his room and put him on his bed (he can crawl off of it as it is a bed and not a crib anymore) and he always comes out after he’s cooled down a bit. I really don’t know what to do about the violence part, as I haven’t experienced that yet..
References :
mum of 15mth old
32wks with baby #2
#2 by Pedsgurl on October 1st, 2009
Quote
You’re completely right- he’s too young for time out and spanking isn’t a good technique ( for me any way). At this point, redirecting and distraction are your best bet. Continue to tell him that it’s not ok and immediately redirect him. Also, try to watch for cues that he’s going to hit or kick and distract him before he starts.
It’s a tough age but you are teaching him early. Hopefully it will end here!
Good luck!
References :
7 years in clinical peds
#3 by Jenn H on October 1st, 2009
Quote
when my daughter went through this I would tap her hand that hit me. Not hard where its going to hurt but when I did it I would say NO, THATS NOT NICE! and if she did it again I would tell her again thats not nice! you just have to be persistent. He is too young yet for time outs, and spanking NEVER solves anything. But you could always use a play pen when he gets out of hand, then when he has been warned with hitting or kicking and still wants to do it, place him in the play pen for a minute or two (or if he is throwing a fit, allow him to finish. When he is done pick him up, give him a snuggle and reassure him you love him! You have to let him know its wrong, but you can’t be too over bearing, and never leave him alone when he is having a temper tantrum, but you can ignore him… Hope this helps!!!
References :
#4 by Stephanie P on October 1st, 2009
Quote
He may just be wanting more attention. To kids even bad attention is attention. Is he doing it more when your not paying attention to him or when your giving attention to someone else? If so hes just wanting more attention.
If thats not the problem it doesnt hurt to give him a little "spanking" just a small tap on his bottom. Just enough for him to feel. I know you said you dont like spanking but sometimes its the only thing that help. And the little taps on his bottom hurt his feelings more than anything. Other than that I dont know what to tell you. Good luck though
References :
#5 by 2 November babies on October 1st, 2009
Quote
I agree that redirection may work, but you may also want to try focusing more on rewarding his positive behavior. Children love praise so if he knows that he is pleasing you, he may try to continue the positive behavior. When my daughter went through a hitting stage I would sternly tell her, "You don’t hit. Hitting hurts. I don’t like that." I would then tell her to only give nice touches and I would take her hand and gently run it down my arm. She is now almost 3 years old, and she teaches her brother to give "nice touches" when he chooses to hit. Sometimes children throw tantrums or hit b/c they are frustrated that they cannot verbally communicate their needs. Teaching sign language may be a great way to give your son the tools he needs to express himself. Always be consistent w/ your discipline. If you correct a tantrum one time and then give in the next, your son receives mixed signals about your expectations for his behavior. It takes awhile for a child to change their behavior. A great book is "Positive Discipline The First Three Years".
References :
#6 by godschildsince1986 on October 1st, 2009
Quote
The first thing is to talk to him to find out why. this is hard and may take a while until they open up. Next you can try by doing somthing he likes, skating, painting, ect. Use that to talk to him to understand why he is acting the way he is acting. sometimes a story, soothing song, crying it out, or a nap helps as well. I have a 3 year old and a 19 month old and I try to get on their level to see whats going on.
References :
#7 by memigen on October 1st, 2009
Quote
I am against spanking, but I do pop or smack my daughters thighs or hands when she hits and kicks, etcetera. I sternly tell her no (she is 15 months old tomorrow) and I also do timeout. She understands that she is in trouble and that she does not move until mommy says so as this is her time to cool down. I explain to her what is going on and she picks it up quickly. I do not automatically smack or anything, I tell her no first, then I try the timeout (As it is also my time to cool down), then if that doesn’t work I try the popping. I honestly may be more stern than you though, so you have to find your own way of establishing yourself as the dominant person in every situation. You have to find what makes him respect your authority as a parent and an adult.
Good luck!
References :
#8 by Cassie V on October 1st, 2009
Quote
I have no advice but I will be watching this thread closely as my 14 month old is being a little brat lately. She is biting, getting into everything etc etc. I never really had much of a problem with my eldest (now almost 4) at the same age she was a placid baby. If she bites I tell her "no, it hurts" in a firm voice and put her down on the floor.
Best of luck
References :
#9 by Stephanie on October 1st, 2009
Quote
im watching this one too. my daughter is doing all this. she is too young to know its wrong, but, i need her to STOP!. i have a 5 week old, and im afraid she will hurt the baby. i tell her no and she giggles at me. im lost, i dont know what to do with her.
References :
#10 by lemmonlime on October 1st, 2009
Quote
well both of my boys have a special time out chair with a timer on the back of it and when they act up the go to time out in the corner! But as a parent you have to punish yourself as well by making sure they stay in time out by staying right behind them! sometimes children will be children and they go through these stages! but the best thing you can do is have a lot of love and patients never discipline a child while you are angry!
References :
Trackback: kelly