Comments on: What do you think is the best way to discipline children without spanking or hitting?

By: xxlatinamami13

xxlatinamami13 — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 08:41:59 +0000

Dont let him/her watch T.v for a day or take what he likes away. Or Make him do Home work
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By: neptune032701

neptune032701 — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 08:08:59 +0000

Time out is a great tool, but it needs to be followed up with "why." My 5 year old gets time out for 5 minutes or until she stops yelling/whining/crying and can behave herself again (which usually lasts longer...lol). After she is calm again then we talk about why what she did was wrong and what she could do different next time. It helps if she can come up with the reasons and solutions on her own. Another useful technique is to take away privleges, especially if the punishment can be directly linked to the offense. For example, if she throws a toy it goes into "daddy's" toy box. She can earn those toys back one at a time for every day that she is good (no time outs) all day.
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By: victoria o

victoria o — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 08:01:59 +0000

i don't believe in spanking at all so try taking away there t.v if they have 1 in there room, take away a favorite toy, sitting on a naughty step or chair, ground them, there are lots of things you could do instead of spanking.
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By: vicky k

vicky k — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 07:17:59 +0000

Find the book: Love and Logic. its an easy read, and its all about disciplining your children without spanking.
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By: Amy

Amy — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 06:52:59 +0000

Maybe along with finding ways to discipline your child you could take this approach.

Find a shoebox. Get green and red construction paper and cut them into strips. Explain to them that when they do something good (doing things the first time they are told, sharing; basically anything they do that’s positive where it used to be negative) a green strip of paper goes into the shoe box. When they break the rules, disobey, throw a tantrum and so forth a red strip goes into the box. At the end of the week you count the strips and if there are more green then you do something fun. It helps if you decide before hand what the reward is so they know what they are working toward. But don’t threaten them with it. They need to know it’s up to them yo earn it.

My mom used a penny jars. One for me. One for my brother. Every time we did something positive (like putting our dishes in the dishwasher without being told) we got a penny. And on the fridge was a list of rewards and we could see how may pennies we needed to save for the different prizes (slurpees, stickers, hot wheels car etc.)

Or the classic stars on the calender.

Point is, giving your children something to work for that requires them to change their behavior might be of some help.
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By: Maggie

Maggie — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 06:42:59 +0000

It’s age specific and even situation specific, but with our 4 yr old we first put her in time out for a few minutes so she (and sometimes we) can calm down, then explain why it was wrong and have her explain it back to us in her own words so we know she got and didn’t just tune us out.
If it’s something like taking a toy away from the baby, we take one away from her or ask her if she would like having it done to her.
We also take away her favorite things, like her bedtime story, dessert, her TV time, or even sometimes reduce her bedtime in 10 minute increments if she’s really bad. If you follow through on the threats, it will get to the point where all you have to say is "if you do that, you’ll be punished" and they stop.
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By: tercentenary98

tercentenary98 — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 06:00:59 +0000

We use physical training or extra home work.
Neither one of them are bad for you or kids. If anything, they become stronger, faster, and more agile. Extra home work makes them that much smarter.
People disagree with us a lot though because they feel it’s easier to strike a child than to find something productive. Time outs just tell the child that as soon as their time is up they can do it again.
I don’t mind people disliking me for it. But I don’t have bullying, mouthy, stuck up kids either.
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By: Summer A

Summer A — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 05:24:59 +0000

Time outs and taking away of privileges. Such as, now you can't play on the computer etc. However, make sure you are consistent and follow through with your punishments or the child won't take your warnings seriously.
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By: maguilart

maguilart — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 04:36:59 +0000

Talk… explain why what he/she did was wrong… there is a higher chance they will listen to you than be scared of you.
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By: sara

sara — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 04:10:59 +0000

It depends on the age and developmental stage of the child.

Personally for younger children I prefer a time out. Set a timer, the general rule is one minute per year of age. Tell them what they did and why it was wrong.

Older children grounding, take away privileges and stick to it. Don’t let them talk you into giving in. You could even give them extra chores for a day or two. Even when they’re older you still have to explain what they did and why it way wrong.

Don’t forget to reward the good things they do. It can be something as simple as verbally praising them.
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By: Carol T

Carol T — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 03:27:59 +0000

First, identify what was done wrong. Explain why it was wrong. Begin with Loss of Privelege appropriate to the wrongful action and to the age.
For older children, the loss of priveleges should be harsher as they are to know what is expected of them by you and the difference between right and wrong has been established.
Raising your voice, and yelling and screaming will only accomplish them not coming to you for BIG problems. It also will only get them to zone out and think about something else with the attitude that, "Great. Another lecture."
If you threaten them to be grounded, do it and make them stick to it to the end. It sets a bad example that they only have to be good for a little while and then they can go back to getting into trouble.
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By: f1mudvayne29

f1mudvayne29 — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 03:12:59 +0000

It is best to encourage good behavior by acknowledging their efforts. The bad behavior has to be enough of a disapproval that they will not want to continue in that way. It is meant to teach them to make good choices for themselves and sometimes the punishment has to be appropriately given. I am a firm believer in promptness and consistency in discipline. Always remember it is to teach the right way to do things not vent frustrations.
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By: ksta72

ksta72 — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 02:22:59 +0000

Parenting with Love and Logic. It works beautifully. Good luck

http://www.loveandlogic.com/faq.html#whatis
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mom of 5, preschool teacher

http://www.loveandlogic.com/faq.html#whatis

By: shankaran. h

shankaran. h — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 01:45:59 +0000

Try to tell the child that what the child wants to do is correct and tell the child that you are trying to do exactly the same way. In the process you can change the attention of the child the way you want. Always give the impression to the child that he/is right and correct and then you pretend to do the same in appreciation. In the process of your action you can easily change the course.
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My granddaughter used to stamp her right foot when she wanted to express anger. I told her that I can express the same only with the left leg and she can convey this to me by stamping with her left foot. She tried, was not successful and stopped the stamping when she sees my lifting the left leg.

By: Stacey P

Stacey P — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 01:38:59 +0000

Time out or try taking away their toys, but actually do it and give them to a charity.
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By: operation_caring2006

operation_caring2006 — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 01:13:59 +0000

stand them in the corner, give them a time out away from other children, set them down and explain to them why you separated them in the first place , or set there and have a one on one talk with the child, and ask why they misbehavin', maybe theres a good reason behind the behavier. good luck
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By: Promised Attitude

Promised Attitude — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 00:56:59 +0000

Good old remedies depending on age. 1) Standing in the corner to think about their actions, 2) Writing a few paragraphs describing thier actions and why...
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By: ~?jess?~

~?jess?~ — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 00:37:59 +0000

parents are the best role model for their kids. you should show them good example when they was young. best of luck!
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By: synda72

synda72 — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 00:21:59 +0000

Read the Supernanny book or watch the shows. Another good one is How To Discipline Your Strong Willed Child. Spanking or hitting your child is only teaching them that it's okay to spank and hit.
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By: N T

N T — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 00:00:59 +0000

give them really long lectures about what they have done. make it really boring
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By: Erin M

Erin M — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 23:19:59 +0000

No kid likes to be hit. trust me. Maybe you should talk to them ( not yelling) tell them what they are doing wrong and explain why its bad. Maybe they will learn from their mistakes bye
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By: casandra x

casandra x — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 22:53:59 +0000

Long and boaring preachings and maybe some isolation and teachings of what the real world is like.
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By: John W

John W — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 22:09:59 +0000

mental abuse...your children should think twice before reckoning with you
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By: whsswim

whsswim — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 21:52:59 +0000

there isn’t one – if you don’t spank your kids they’ll never learn

please don’t be one of those parents that lets their kids rule over them
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By: serser92695

serser92695 — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 21:24:59 +0000

grounded
even though they
would really hate it
i now i would.
HEHEHEHE
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By: Kiki

Kiki — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 20:47:59 +0000

take away their stuff like going outside,computer,T.V,spending time with friends,etc.
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By: Zuka

Zuka — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 20:24:59 +0000

Send them to your parents house.
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By: KatieK

KatieK — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 20:05:59 +0000

Time out or restriction of favorite toys.
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By: Jessica M

Jessica M — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 19:35:59 +0000

take something away
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By: redyoshi125

redyoshi125 — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 19:21:59 +0000

Telling them to sit in a corner for 5 minutes wont help much. You need to try to teach them that what they are doing is wrong, and why it is.
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