Nothing like a good old-fashioned spanking..
it gets to the bottom of the problem.
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#1 by Noah's Mommy & Marine Wife. on November 8th, 2009
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I really do believe it depends on each and every situation. Sometimes time-outs are effective at getting your point across and they work well for that child. Sometimes a small swat on the behind is needed.
In the end parents have their different ways of discipline and will believe their’s works best for them and their child.
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#2 by Carriehas5 on November 8th, 2009
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Depends on the situation, depends on the child. I never have to spank my daughter. Just my frown will make her cry! On the other hand when you have a string willed child who laughs at time out (as I’ve seen with some), a spanking might be what it takes.
Also, a child doesn’t need a spanking every time he or she does something wrong. Spanking should be used sparingly.
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Mom with 5
#3 by Johnny's Mommy on November 8th, 2009
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I think this really depends on the child.
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#4 by ~KIANA~ on November 8th, 2009
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spanking doesnt teach the child anything but to be afraid of you or doing an action, that they think will upset you… timeouts let your child know that it isnt ok to do what they did… so what if they scream…. it teaches them a leason better then spanking does…..
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#5 by gypsy g on November 8th, 2009
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Depends on the child…and spanking should only be used if the time out aren’t working. Discipline is a progression, use the slightest if that doesn’t work then resort to stronger tactics.
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#6 by Marie on November 8th, 2009
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Timeouts
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#7 by Sarah B, Canadian Girl on November 8th, 2009
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It is not about what you do, it is about how you do it.
My parents spanked me until I was bruised and I was very well behaved, but from an oppressed stance. I also grew up to leave home with alot of anger and aggression that would come from nowhere.
Therefor, I raised my children I raise without spanking and I use rewards and timeouts, etc. They are also very well behaved, respectful and well mannered.
Both can work. You see parents who use times outs and their kids run wild. But you see the same with parents who spank. It is not what you do, it is how you do it.
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#8 by Sahara on November 8th, 2009
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Time outs.
Communicate with children. They are not mini adults. Sometimes they forget the rules. Sometimes they may not be clear on the rules. Maybe they are testing the boundaries. Be consistent with rules. Children will learn by repetition. Be fair and reasonable.
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#9 by mgnavadomskis on November 8th, 2009
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A punishment of any kind, on it’s own, doesn’t teach anything. So, if, by ‘discipline’, you mean ‘teach’, then neither is effective.
If you mean ‘punish’, then I suppose either is effective, but I don’t think that hitting is a good way to interact with anyone.
If you really want to teach a child, though, the most effective thing to do is to let the child experience & learn from the natural and logical consequences of their choices, along with teaching them directly via discussion, role play, role modelling & supervised experimentation.
If the child is not emotionally or intellectually mature enough to learn that way, then it seems kind of mean for anyone to punish them for not knowing how to do something that they weren’t yet taught how to do.
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#10 by Magenta on November 8th, 2009
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ew. who spanks their kids in 2008?????
Seriously. All u ever hear about that now is in a pervy sense.
TIME OUT 4 sure. You dont hear of time out fetishes now do you?
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#11 by smiley_face_boxers on November 8th, 2009
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Spanking…This daddy doesn’t do wussy "Time outs", why do you think the current generation is messed up, ignorant, jobless, and still living with mommy and daddy at 25, 28, 30, etc…?
Touch daddy’s LCD TV or HD DVD player and get smacked on the hand! The child knows better now.
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#12 by ~*?*~ Spontania *~?~* on November 8th, 2009
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Haha, I love Magenta’s answer! I’ve never heard of someone think of spankings that way!
Anyways, I think it depends on the kid and who is dealing with them. If it’s my mom dealing with my sister, she should get spanked for some of the things she does because my sister doesn’t care if my mom is disappointed in her.
But if it’s my dad, my sister will start crying if he tells her the slightest thing. He doesn’t even have to yell most of the time. I think he kind of has a more dominating air to him so he doesn’t need to spank.
If it’s me dealing with her, I’d need to spank her because she doesn’t respect me at all. But I wouldn’t want to because then she’d make it seem like I put a knife to her throat or something and get me in a ton of trouble, haha!
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#13 by Georgiana-Rose Lucille on November 8th, 2009
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It depends.
For extremely serious things (Running into traffic, endangering self, etc.) I think spanking is a good punishment but if your kid just talks back or wont do something timeout
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#14 by hard2getbutch on November 8th, 2009
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Some people say Spanking never works,. I was spanked… i spank. My mom was spanked… she spanks. My sister has a 3 year old… she never spanks… only uses time outs… her daughter is a terror! My brother spanked and his kids are awesome. My other sister has 2 they are terrible.
I am not saying that spanking is a good thing… Or a bad thing… I would not congradulate you either way.
It really depends on the child. My son is spanked. and he is doing good. when he is a bit older, imma try the time out thing. Not to sure how it will work out.
it is up to the child how they react either way. I would try both.
Good luck
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#15 by Frootbat31 on November 8th, 2009
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I’ve always used timeouts, but you have to do a timeout correctly for this to work.
*No arguing with the child while in timeout
*Place the child away from attention. They need the quiet time as much as you do
*Be firm
*Don’t scream. Lower your voice and make it bigger. My dad used to say "Intimidate them while they’re little" and he spanked me only once in my life.
*Be forgiving. Once the timeout is over, things go back to normal
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#16 by momof4 on November 8th, 2009
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I can only speak for my own children, but I do know what is effective with them. We don’t spank. If they are out of control (as in having a tantrum) timeouts work great for a chance to pull themselves together and regroup and be able to come back calm and rational and ready to problem-solve. When they’re engaged in behavior that is anti-social (hitting their big sister), time-outs also work because they aren’t allowed to be in the social scene until they’re back under control.
For other offenses, I don’t particularly like timeout or spanking. We use logical consequences (e.g. if you make a mess you clean it up; if you throw or mistreat or can’t share a toy you lose the rights to the toy; if you misbehave on a playdate we end the playdate; if mom has to clean the living room mom keeps the toys that were on the floor; if you were climbing the tree without permission you don’t get to play outside anymore for the rest of the day). We also use removal of privileges that are meaningful to the particular kid (tv, computer, change in bedtime, trip to the library, whatever). We also use a lot of positive discipline (modeling, acknowledging good behavior). For example, we’ll have days when we keep track of "kindness tallies" and put a tally up on the whiteboard every time someone is particularly kind to someone else. The kids fall all over each other trying to be kind, lol.
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#17 by reddevilbloodymary on November 8th, 2009
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depending upon the child’s age, sometimes simply re-directing their attention is enough. Older kids need to have favorite toys taken away or privileges taken away, and even older kids can have fun time taken away.
Need more info on age and disciplinary issue.
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#18 by dre'sgirl on November 8th, 2009
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I have great results with timeouts with my DD. (I was spanked as a child and I don’t think it made a difference because I still did whatever I wanted to do anyway.)
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#19 by Man with No Name on November 8th, 2009
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Nothing like a good old-fashioned spanking..
it gets to the bottom of the problem.
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#20 by Anthony D on November 8th, 2009
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my oldest son understands no. and if he continues to do it either he’ll get his hand smacked or sat in a time out(even though time outs rarely work on him…..he’ll usually just fall asleep where he sits or somethin) but i dont hafta punish him that much because redirection with a firm no for my boy seems to work. if its too bad he’ll get his hand smacked. he’s the spitting image personality wise of me so im sure theres gonna be some spankins in the future…but for the most part my boys are pretty well behaved
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#21 by momof3 on November 8th, 2009
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I think that it depends on the situation and the child. For my kids, time out usually works and we don’t have to resort to spanking. But timeout doesn’t always work for all kids so it really does depend.
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#22 by Bud on November 8th, 2009
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Spanking, Time out is a joke! sitting in a chair is a punishment? Not being able to sit in the chair is punishment! Pretty soon they’ll be giving criminals a time out! Kids know that they get a time out for a while and it’s back to acting up! Kids also know that if they get their butt whacked for acting up they don’t want it again!
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#23 by anahiyeh on November 8th, 2009
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I’m so against spanking and any kind of punishement. Time outs are ok if used in the right way. But to "discipline" children is not to punish them. therefore i think there’s a lot more than those 2 options.
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#24 by Layla on November 8th, 2009
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It sort of depends on the situation, I would say. But generally, I think that spanking are effective in that they induce a little bit of fear in the child to the point where they know what punishment they are going to get when they do something wrong. Also, spanking is something they will remember because they will associate it with a little bit of pain. For the record, I am not saying to beat your kids, but spanking are effective. Timeouts aren’t very useful. They don’t work as well because the child isn’t getting much of a punisment. When a kid gets older though, to where the parents don’t feel comfortable spanking them anymore, grounding works, which is a long-term timeout I guess you could say. But on the whole, I think spankings are effective because kids are afraid to do really bad things. When I was younger, I would get spanked. When really little, on the fanny haha, but when a little older, whatever was there when the hand came, like the arms or legs. But it was always few and far between anyway.
I turned out ok….at least I think so.
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#25 by Paul Bowden on November 8th, 2009
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I think it depends on the situation. I try timeouts for "smaller" stuff like tantrums or a little sassiness. But for deliberate disobedience or lying, I think spanking should always be used. Timeout for lying or disobedience is not appropriate in my humble opinion.
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#26 by lou-lou on November 8th, 2009
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Depends totally on the individual child…time outs can be used to make the child think about what they have done and know they are being punished. Spanking can be used in different ways and one/two/three smacks on the bottom gets their attention and more than this is considered an actual punishments. Personally, i give a spanking on their bare bottom and then time out. This works for the specific kids.
X
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#27 by no_spam_2 on November 8th, 2009
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Budd says: "Spanking, Time out is a joke! sitting in a chair is a punishment? Not being able to sit in the chair is punishment! Pretty soon they’ll be giving criminals a time out! Kids know that they get a time out for a while and it’s back to acting up! Kids also know that if they get their butt whacked for acting up they don’t want it again!"
They used to give criminals a "time out" … solitary detention. They also used to use the prison strap on criminals — a strap much more fearsome than straps at home or school. Sometimes they used the lash instead of the strap.
As for children and time-outs … what I’ve seen on TV (Nanny, etc.) a screaming whining kid that hasn’t learned to "obey" parental authority … like a 4 year old, 4 minutes "time-out" … but it might take a couple of hours, the first time, before the kid learns to accept the parent’s authority … learns to accept the "time-out". After they learn to accept it, then a "time-out" can be a break in unacceptable misbehavior and a kid learning to say "I’m sorry".
Budd, a "time-out" can be a very effective learning tool. However, not being able to sit comfortably in a chair sure does give a kid a very clear message too …and it can be a very effective form of punishment. I don’t think it needs always to be whackings. Sometimes, having learned to accept "time-out" a kid that is whining and "wanting" whatever they want … a time-out can be a very effective "interruption". However, for other misbehaviors — like coming home two hours late for curfew and having not even phoned … then your folks are on the right track if they take the belt to your bare butt big time.
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>What is an more effective way to discipline children: Spanking or Timeouts?
Actually, with most children probably a combination of the two methods would be the more effective. … and I don’t mean spanking and timeout for the same thing; rather, spanking for some things and timeout for other things. Also, might change with differing ages, etc.
For older kids, "time-out" likely wouldn’t be very effective if it is number of minutes equal to age. I think that is when "grounding" becomes more common … time out of number of days equal to age. HOWEVER, for say a 15 year old, a time out of 15 minutes could be quite effective in calming an argument or such. Rather than an argument escalating, it might be time for both or all parties to calm down and think.
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#28 by Jeremy J on November 8th, 2009
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There is no set answer, it depends on the child and the situation
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#29 by Dsjhf S on November 8th, 2009
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Depends on the child, but its not like the previous generation was all the great either. Your the ones with the 47% divorce rate and a lot of them don’t even have grade nine!
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